Monday, October 8, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Fake News vs Fake News

This weekend was the mock debate between Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly. It was kind of nice to watch a debate that couldn’t possibly result in a pathological liar becoming President of the United States. You don’t mind watching Bill O’Reilly saying outrageous things because you know he’s not going to ever be in a position to impose his ideas on you... unless you lose your TV remote.  It was a great debate—a comedian versus a joke.

Today, Mitt Romney is speaking about foreign policy. You know what that means—today, Mitt Romney is lying about foreign policy. Mitt will lie, no matter what he is talking about. If he had a job making arrival announcements at the train station, he would lie about when the trains were coming in—just because he’s Mitt Romney. If Mitt conducts foreign policy the same way that he’s conducting his campaign for president, he’s going to try and deal with foreign adversaries by out-lying them.

Former GE CEO Jack Welch refused to back away from his statements that the White House manipulated the unemployment numbers. But then it’s hard to back away when you’re standing up to your neck in bull crap. When Chris Matthews asked Welch if he had anything to back up his assertions, Welch said “I have no evidence to prove that.”  Gee, at that point, most people would conclude that you have no right to say that. Sorry Jack, but you can’t just twist numbers the way Mitt Romney twists his positions.

Meanwhile, Allen West was on CNBC, also claiming that the White House is fixing the labor statistics. No, Allen—they’re fixing the economy. I’m guessing that Allen West would like to replace the Bureau of Labor Statistics, probably with something called the Bureau of Stuff Allen West Thinks. Come on, Allen—you’re better with numbers than that! Aren’t you the guy who figured out that there are exactly 78 to 81 communists in the Democratic caucus of the House of Representatives?

Mitt Romney just wants to kill Big Bird. It turns out that Rick Santorum wants to kill and eat him. I hope Newt Gingrich doesn’t chime in. He probably wants to dress in Big Bird’s skin and dance under the moonlight. When asked if he wants to kill Big Bird too, Santorum said “I’ve voted to kill Big Bird. That doesn’t mean I don’t like Big Bird. You can kill things and still like them. I mean, maybe to eat them.” Rick, we know you don’t care about children after they’ve been born, but could you at least refrain from scaring them? Eat Big Bird? There’s more to PBS than just Big Bird, you know. Rick Santorum is going to have to eat Oscar the Grouch, Bert and Ernie, Charlie Rose, and Bill Moyers.

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Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) - unbelievably a medical doctor with a BS in chemistry - shows that Bible-based Republicanism trumps science every time...

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