Friday, July 30, 2010

It’s Friday, ya bastids!In we-can’t-make-this-stuff-up news, yesterday House Republicans killed a bill to help 9/11 responders who got sick after working in the disaster area. Hey there, Republicans, there’s more to “Never Forget” than just not forgetting. You have to give a crap too. The bill would have provided health care to 9/11 rescue and recovery workers who got sick after being exposed to the dust of the World Trade Center collapse. Many of the first responders developed severe respiratory problems. Well now there’s this to take their breath away. The GOP turned down money to help stricken heroes. Really, what’s next? Why don’t Congressional Republicans just drown a bunch of puppies up in the Reflecting Pool? GOP critics said the bill would create a “massive new entitlement program.” Entitlement? We’re talking about the heroes of 9/11. They ARE entitled—to at least this. The only thing Republicans want to spend money on is tax cuts for the rich. I guess that would help any stricken first responders who happen to be billionaires. Oh, and how was the bill to be paid for? By closing a tax loophole for foreign multinational corporations that incorporate in tax haven countries to avoid U.S. taxes. That’s right, Republicans care more for Swiss bankers than they do for American paramedics. Wow. Give them credit for sticking to their principles… though that really stretches the meaning of the word “principles.” Nice going, Republicans—you’ve just added insult to one of the worst injuries this nation has ever received.
Lindsey Graham wants to overturn the part of the 14th Amendment that guarantees citizenship to people born in the United States. Might I remind Lindsey Graham that the only thing that makes most of us American is being born here? It’s not like we passed a citizenship test… like immigrants have to. Graham is upset that the children of undocumented immigrants are US citizens if they are born here. Evidently Lindsey Graham wants the condition of being undocumented to be hereditary. Just how many generations do people have to live here to be considered Americans, Senator? Because the Cherokees and the Apaches might have something to say about that. I’m just saying, don’t fiddle with the rules, Lindsey. You might end up getting all of us kicked out. These guys really love the Constitution… until it gets in their way. They want to pick and choose which parts of the Constitution they like and ignore the rest. But then why should the Constitution be any different than the Bible?
Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) rips Republicans over the 9/11 First Responders Health Bill

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Thursday July 29th 2010

Did you catch President Obama today on The View? This is the first time that a sitting president has appeared on a daytime talk show. It’s not a bad idea—I think George Bush could have benefited from talking to Dr. Phil. Obama described a family game called “roses and thorns” that his family plays at the dinner table where they pick something good and something bad that happened that day. When you’re the President of the United States, it must be hard to come up with roses that equal the thorns. Your rose would be something like “the dog looked really cute when he sneezed.” And your thorn is “millions of gallons of oil are being spewed into the Gulf of Mexico.” Obama said he picked The View because it’s the only show Michelle watches. OK. I’m just glad she doesn’t watch “The Jersey Shore.” I don’t want to see President Obama in a shouting match with Snookie and The Situation over who spilled beer in the Jacuzzi.
If you prefer TV with a dash of Apocalyptic paranoia, evangelist Tim LaHaye was on Mike Huckabee’s show predicting the end of the world (video below). The first clue? Mike Huckabee has a TV show. Tim LaHaye says President Obama’s “socialist” policies will “bring us closer to the Apocalypse.” Gee, I didn’t know healthcare was a sign of the end of the world. I hope my policy covers injuries resulting from exposure to fire and brimstone. Here’s a question: If the Apocalypse is foretold in the Bible, does that make it a pre-existing condition? LaHaye also said we are “very definitely” living in the “end times.” No wonder conservatives don’t give a crap about global warming—they think the world is already cooked. If these people think these are the end times, why do they even have any say in public policy discussions? Heck, if this is the end, why even try to clean up the oil spill in the Gulf? That would be like vacuuming the carpet while your house is burning down.

Finally, if you want your crazy on the radio, Rush Limbaugh said the judge’s decision on the Arizona immigration law means that “Muslim terrorists are gonna have a field day in Arizona.” Right. Not unless they want to pick lettuce. But then if Al Qaeda’s plan is to stand outside Home Depot and get day work hanging dry wall, well yes, this decision clears the way. Today’s Homework

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Wednesday July 28th 2010

One Minnesotan decided to answer the question posed by this GWB “Miss Me Yet?” billboard (ha!):
NEW: Federal judge blocks key parts of AZ’s immigration law from going into effect tomorrow

Robert Reich has a great piece on corporate profits and the jobs situation—the bottom line versus the unemployment line. Corporate profits are soaring while jobs remain stagnant. That’s what happens when business doesn’t involve making anything… except money. Companies are expanding—overseas. If you want to know where the jobs are, go down to the ocean and look beyond those oil-stained beaches. GM makes and sells more cars in China than they do in the US. These days, GM stands for “Goodbye, Michigan.”

There’s also a disconnect between corporate profits and consumer confidence. Duh. You know what builds consumer confidence? Having a steady paycheck. Consumers without jobs stop consuming. It’s like Wall Street keeps trying to milk a cow that they refuse to feed. At a certain point, the milk stops flowing.

Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee want hearings on the New Black Panther Party. What are we supposed to determine—if either of those two guys pose a threat to the United States? That’s just what America needs in 2010—an investigation into the Black Panthers. They’re going to have to conduct this investigation with the Cold Case Unit. America is facing threats from a lot of sources, but a threat from the sixties is not one of them. Finally, NASA says this is the hottest year on record. What is it going to take for conservatives to admit that it’s getting hotter… beyond the fact that it’s getting hotter, I mean?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Tuesday July 27th 2010

Census data shows that more Americans are moving into crappier housing situations because they can’t afford their old place. People are going to end up living underneath bridges. All the more reason to spend some money on infrastructure repair—nobody wants to live underneath a leaky bridge. More people are also moving into shared housing. We’re becoming a nation of roommates. Great. Not only are people poorer, now they’ve got somebody stealing their Chinese leftovers out of the fridge.
BP is keeping Tony Hayward on the payroll. He’s going to help oversee BP’s joint venture in Russia . He is literally being sent to Siberia , which is like the employment equivalent of treating spilled oil with dispersants—it’s what you do when you just want something to go away. At least Tony got himself a nice going-away present of $1.6 million per year. Good for you, Tony. I’m sure $1.6 million a year goes a long way in Siberia . You’re going to be the swankiest guy on the tundra. I hope BP has a good oil spill response plan for Siberia —one that will protect the rare Siberian walrus. The decision to send Hayward to Sibe ria was “mutual.” That’s how bad things are in the Gulf. Tony Hayward would evidently rather be in Siberia than on the Redneck Riviera, scraping oil off of the soles of his feet. Meanwhile, BP is selling some $30 billion in assets over the next 18 months to help cover their losses. Anybody want any used oil booms? It sounds like BP is in worse financial shape than Teresa on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Maybe they should just auction their stuff off.
Finally, Tom Tancredo is running for Governor of Colorado as a third party candidate. Great—any party can be livened up by bringing in a clown. Tom Tancredo has a long history of race-baiting. He has more racist quotes than the unabridged version of Mein Kampf. And all those racist statements from Tom Tancredo were not cherry-picked. Selectively choosing racist statements from Tom Tancredo is like cherry-picking in a bowl of cherries. >>> MORE

Monday, July 26, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Monday July 26th 2010

A leak of over 90,000 military documents on the war in Afghanistan paints a grim picture of the situation there. The sheer number of documents paints a grim picture. 92,000 documents? This is the biggest leak in the world not directly caused by BP. If we’ve done nothing else, with this much paperwork we’ve certainly managed to deforest a good chunk of the planet. These reports are a better defoliant than Agent Orange.
On Fox News Sunday, Newt Gingrich was asked if he was irresponsible to call Shirley Sherrod “viciously racist.” Newt blamed his reaction to the Sherrod clip on the “Obama administration’s continuing incompetence.” This is what it’s come to—now Newt Gingrich is blaming Obama for Newt Gingrich. Howard Dean called what Fox News did with the Shirley Sherrod story “absolutely racist.” He also said “The Tea Party called out their racist fringe and I think the Republican Party's got to stop appealing to its racist fringe.” Let’s be straight here: the Tea Party does not call out its “racist fringe.” It calls out its racist mainstream.
The Wall Street Journal reports that BP chief Tony Hayward is on his way out. It’s about time. If George Steinbrenner had been in charge, Tony Hayward would have been fired a dozen times by now. When Hayward took over in 2007, he pledged to clean up BP’s poor safety record. I’ll give him this much—he certainly made their record prior to his tenure look a lot better, at least in comparison. After this the safety record of the Titanic looks pretty clean. The BP board will meet today to consider Hayward ’s departure. Goodbye, Tony. Try not to track any oil on your way out. I don’t know what Tony will do now. The man hasn’t done anything right. He should probably apply to be a fact checker for Glenn Beck. Finally, a study shows that the John Roberts Supreme Court is the most rightwing Supreme Court in living memory… unless there’s someone out there old enough to remember the Roger Taney Supreme Court. How conservative is the John Roberts Supreme Court? If these 9 people were a baseball team, at least 5 of them would be in right field. And that is not a winning lineup.>>> MORE

Friday, July 23, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Friday July 23rd 2010

It’s Friday, ya bastids!
There’s some great video of Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle running away from reporters’ questions—at her own news conference (see below). What the hell is wrong with Sharron Angle? Don’t worry, Sharron—it’s a hypothetical question. You don’t have to answer it. I’ve heard of politicians running, but this is absurd. Sharron Angle shouldn’t be running in a Senate race, she should be running in the 1500 meter hurdles. Heck, I think she would have beaten most of the field in an Olympic steeplechase. Why don’t they just add some hurdles and a water hazard to Sharron Angle’s press conferences?
My God, even Alvin Greene, the surprise Democratic Senate candidate from South Carolina, answers reporters’ questions. He tends to stare ahead into space for a long time before doing it, but he does it. There may be trouble for Alvin, though. Greene’s military records say he has an inability to clearly express his thoughts. Wow. I think you just described the ideal politician. After all, what is hurting Sharron Angle more than the fact the she has clearly expressed her thoughts in the past? The military records say Greene has trouble performing basic tasks. Hey, I think he’s going to fit right in the Senate! On one of his military reviews, Greene’s incompetence was deemed so great that he was considered “a threat to others.” Yes, but more of a threat to others than Jim DeMint? That’s the question in this election.
On his TV show, Glenn Beck said he would never have aired the edited clip of Shirley Sherrod—although he actually aired it earlier that same day on his radio show. Glenn Beck, meet Glenn Beck. If you have any standards, you’re not going to like him. Radio Glenn Beck said flat out that they “have video tape of a USDA administration official discriminating against white farmers.” Then TV Glenn Beck said he would never say that. I can’t wait until Book Author Glenn Beck weighs in and breaks the tie. Finally, Norm Coleman is reportedly thinking about challenging Michael Steele for the RNC chairmanship. There’s definitely a big opening at the RNC. Unfortunately for Michael Steele, that big opening is his mouth. Hey, if Norm Coleman can do for Republicans what he did for Norm Coleman in 2008, Democrats should be in pretty good shape. Today’s Homework

My Fixe Magazine Interview - w/Photos on their Site

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Hugh Hefner on Larry King LIVE July 22 20210

Hugh Hefner on ABC Nightline July 22 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Thursday July 22nd 2010

Well, falsely vilified Agriculture Department employee Shirley Sherrod has a new job offer.
If the Department of Agriculture can just falsely accuse another 15 million Americans and offer them new jobs as compensation, we will have solved the unemployment problem. Of course, we’re going to have a lot of people on the Department of Agriculture payroll. On the upside, we should be doing pretty good in terms of agriculture. Heck, for every struggling family farmer out there, we’ll have a few thousand USDA employees keeping tabs on each of them. All we have to do is get Andrew Breitbart and Fox News to manufacture fake videos to falsely incriminate 15 million Americans. I’m confident they can do it. Hell, do that and then there’s a few hundred thousand jobs for videotape editors too. This just keeps getting better for the economy. Shirley Sherrod has received apologies from Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack, the NAACP, and President Obama even called her personally today. She’s received apologies from everybody who fell for this scam, and nobody who perpetrated this scam ( timeline). Both Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly aggressively pushed this story. Now they’re just as aggressively pushing this story away from themselves. Why hasn’t Fox News issued an apology for pushing the story? Because they’re too busy criticizing the White House for believing the story they were pushing. “How dare you believe what we were saying! Didn’t you stop to consider the source?” Yesterday Fox & Friends devoted a whole segment about the Sherrod story without ever even mentioning Andrew Breitbart’s role. Breitbart not only had a role in this controversy, he had a starring role. Heck, he even wrote the screenplay. Andrew Breitbart is to the story of Shirley Sherrod as Herman Melville is to the story of Moby Dick—he completely made it up, based very loosely on actual incidents. On an even more discordant note, a conservative media critic said he would give $100 to the first Republican Congressman who punches Democratic Congressman Alan Grayson. Wow. I hope nobody tells Michelle Bachmann. Of course, Michelle wouldn’t punch Grayson in the face. She would definitely punch below the belt. I don’t think she can reach above Alan Grayson’s belt.>>> MORE

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Wednesday July 21st 2010

They distort, you decide. If you’ve been following the Shirley Sherrod story on rightwing media, it turns out that you’re following the wrong story. The Shirley Sherrod story you got from Andrew Breitbart and Fox News wasn’t exactly true. In fact, it came about as close as something can to being exactly false. The tape of Shirley Sherrod was more edited than a version of “War and Peace” cut down to appear on the back of a milk carton (FULL video below).
Breitbart and Fox News took a story that was heartwarming made it bone chilling. The whole point of Shirley Sherrod’s complete speech was racial harmony and getting along. In other words, her whole point was not to do exactly what the rightwing media then did to her. I guess Andrew Breitbart wasn’t listening to the speech when he selectively edited it. That’s hard to do. This is like taking Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech and cutting it up into a call for race war. In reality, Shirley Sherrod’s story was a story of transformation. Well, the rightwing media turned it into a story of transformation of a whole different sort. Instead of the transformation of a person, this became the story of the transformation of a piece of videotape. And that’s not nearly as inspiring. The lesson here to the mainstream media? Never make a decision based on what you hear from Andrew Breitbart and Fox News—unless of course your decision is based on the assumption that everything they say is a lie. You’re probably pretty safe there.
The NAACP bravely backtracked on their initial reaction to the Shirley Sherrod story. Unfortunately, they were backing up the bus after they had already thrown Sherrod underneath it. The NAACP said it had been “snookered by Fox News and Tea Party Activist Andrew Breitbart.” Let’s add “snooker” to the list of things that Fox News does—right after lie, distort, smear, and mislead. Maybe Fox News should just run with the “snooker” thing. That could be their new tagline. Instead of Ashton Kucher saying “you’ve been Punked,” they could have Megyn Kelly telling people “you’ve been Snookered!”
By the way, Andrew Breitbart stood by his hack job. He said on CNN “This is showing racism at an NAACP event.” Well he’s partially right. It’s certainly showing racism—Andrew Breitbart’s racism.
Today's Homework Here's the complete video of Shirley Sherrod's speech (the relevant portion begins around the 16 minute mark

Why Should Hefner Have All the Fun?

Why Should Hefner Have All the Fun?

“If I sold it, my life would be over.”
That’s what Hugh Hefner, the 84-year-old velvet-robe-wearing founder of Playboy, told a reporter for The New York Times last year about the magazine empire he started in 1953.
Playboy has struggled mightily in recent years in the face of competition from the Internet, but while generational tastes may have shifted, Mr. Hefner still hasn’t lost his love for blondes — or his magazine.
That perhaps helps explain why Mr. Hefner announced last week that he had made a bid to acquire all the stock of Playboy Enterprises that he doesn’t already own.
In a letter to Playboy’s board — of which he is not a member — Mr. Hefner disclosed his bid of $185 million. But he also made something else plain: “I am not interested in any sale or merger of the company, selling my shares to any third party or entering into discussions with any other financial sponsor for a transaction of the nature proposed in this letter.”
In other words, Mr. Hefner is only interested in selling his bunnies to himself.
And in case it wasn’t clear, Mr. Hefner took to Twitter in the days after he made his bid. “My interest in taking Playboy private is prompting some crazy rumors. Playboy isn’t in play. I’m buying, not selling,” the octogenarian said in a post.
With 69.5 percent of Playboy’s Class A common shares, Mr. Hefner has de facto control of the company, even though he owns only 33.7 percent of the company’s class B shares, where most of the economic value resides. The B shares, however, have no vote.
Like many family-controlled media companies, including The New York Times Company, Playboy has a dual-class stock structure. Such arrangements are meant to help the controlling family protect the editorial integrity of the product when an unsavory suitor comes along.
But Mr. Hefner’s bid raises an important question: Should Mr. Hefner — or any other dual-class owner — be able to buy his or her company from the public without any competition?
Already, Playboy is attracting rival suitors. Just days after Mr. Hefner made his bid, worth a whopping 40 percent premium over Playboy’s share price, the owner of Penthouse magazine countered with an offer of $210 million. FriendFinder Networks, Penthouse’s parent, even said it would let Mr. Hefner continue to run Playboy magazine and live in the mansion.
But Penthouse’s offer, worth 13 percent more than Mr. Hefner’s bid, will likely be for naught. Playboy’s special committee of independent directors, which will weigh the offers, has only one real choice: To sell to Mr. Hefner, or not at all.
“Penthouse is just looking for publicity. They’re not in the picture,” Mr. Hefner wrote on Twitter, quickly batting down its proposal.
But should the company be able to ignore a rival offer like that? Why should public shareholders be disenfranchised from competing bids when a controlling shareholder wants to take a company private?
David Miller, an analyst for Caris & Company, once said — morbidly — that the best thing that could happen to Playboy’s shareholders would be for Mr. Hefner to pass away.
“We believe Mr. Hefner’s death could result in a material stock price uptick,” Mr. Miller wrote in a note to investors before Mr. Hefner made his bid. Already several shareholders have filed a class-action suit against Playboy and Mr. Hefner seeking to enjoin them from pursuing a sale that the suit describes as “a self-dealing going-private proposal.”
To be fair, Playboy’s shareholders bought into the company with their eyes wide open. The company’s dual-class structure — and Mr. Hefner’s views about never selling — have long been widely known.
Mario J. Gabelli, a money manager who for some time has made investments in dual-class structured media companies, said that as much as he wished his investments would become “in play” when a controlling shareholder wants to take it private, he said, “we buy the stakes knowing this can happen.” (He is not a major Playboy shareholder. “We gave up on them long ago,” he said.)
But Mr. Gabelli’s experience with another media company, Cablevision, may prove instructive. The Dolan family, which controls Cablevision, sought to take the company private several times. Cablevision would have made a ripe target for Time Warner or others, but the family said it would not entertain outside bids.
“We didn’t trust them,” Mr. Gabelli said of the Dolans. He worried that the family would find a way to buy out the minority shareholders at a discount since there would be no competition and then turn around and sell the company for an ever bigger price tag several years later. Mr. Gabelli had sought a “clawback” so that public shareholders would be compensated if Cablevision was sold later. The deal was ultimately rejected and shelved.
What Mr. Hefner wants to do with Playboy is unclear. In one of his regular messages on Twitter, he wrote, “If I can satisfy my minority shareholders, I think taking Playboy private can help reinvigorate the brand. That’s how we began.”
His bid is being backed by Rizvi Traverse Management, a private equity firm based outside Detroit that has a stake in the International Creative Management talent agency. Of course, if it acquires Playboy, Rizvi, unlike Mr. Hefner, will want to exit its investment at some point. At least for now, Mr. Hefner cannot see that day.
After hours of posting on Twitter, Mr. Hefner concluded, “I’ll be playing games with the girls tonight, probably dominos or Uno. Any game with Playmates is fun.”

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Tuesday July 20th 2010

Sarah Palin has added her two cents to the debate over the mosque at Ground Zero. And, as you would expect, her opinion is way overvalued at two cents. Sarah Palin called on Muslims to “refudiate” the mosque. Wow. Sarah Palin is as disconnected from real words as much as she’s disconnected from the real world. In her second attempt, Sarah called on “Peaceful New Yorkers” to “pls refute the Ground Zero mosque plan.” Now she’s using a real word… the wrong way. We’re halfway there! That post was removed as well. In her third shot at it, Sarah managed to put together a correct sentence. Sarah Palin, Inc must have brought in some outside consultants. Then Sarah addressed the whole fiasco by comparing herself to Shakespeare. She said “English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!” Uh Sarah, shouldn’t you say “Got to commemerabate it”? English is in fact a living language. And Sarah Palin is doing her darndest to kill it. Yes, Shakespeare made up words too. The difference? Shakespeare knew he was doing it. Sarah, you are no Shakespeare. Though I will admit that your career has been “A Comedy of Errors.” Oh, and “Much Ado About Nothing,” while we’re on the subject.
In an interview on MSNBC, Tea Party bigwig Mark Williams said it’s “impossible for there to be a racist element in the tea party.” Unfortunately for Mark Williams, the biggest argument against that statement is the existence of Mark Williams. It’s kind of like trotting out Mel Gibson to argue that it’s impossible for there to be a misogynistic element in Hollywood. Then Mark Williams responded to the NAACP’s criticism of Tea Party tolerance of racism with a whole-hearted embrace of racism. Williams posted a bizarre “open letter” to Abraham Lincoln he wrote from the point of view of “colored people.” The letter appears to be an attempt at satire. I guess this shows it’s hard to maintain satire while simultaneously hiding your real feelings. The point of satire is to use wit to expose folly. Mark Williams has managed to use folly to expose his lack of wit. It just goes to prove that satire is not the proper tool for people who don’t know how to handle it. It’s like handing a gun to a child. Of course, I’m not at all sure that Mark Williams would disapprove of that. Satire is simply beyond the ability of Mark Williams to use it. Mark Williams trying to use satire is like Sarah Palin trying to wield the English language. Today’s Homework

7 fetishes and what they may reveal about your childhood

Posted by Caitlin Thornton
Shockingly enough, steamy-hot sex doesn’t cut it for everyone. For some, fulfilling a fetish adds that necessary spark in the sack. Where fetishes stem from, no one’s exactly sure, but we’re getting all Freudian to determine what the freaky stuff that turns you on says about your past—and how to express some fetishes without maxing out your credit card on a phone sex operator.

7 Feet
A common fetish, getting hot and bothered by feet means you probably weren’t picked up much as a baby, leaving your little drooling face in constant confrontation with people’s piggies. This, and/or your mom made you give her corned feet a rub, and maybe even a manicure, regularly during your elementary school career. Embrace this fetish for the horrifyingly ugly body part that is a foot by securing a part-time job at a shoe store. We also hear there’s a great foot fetish party in New York’s Financial District (surprise, surprise).

6 Smoking
If the thought of someone sucking on a Camel makes you crazy, don’t think too hard about the source of this fetish—flash back to the time when your great aunt Ruth gave you a bath with a Virginia Slim sticking out of the corner of her mouth. Explains why you like that husky, scratchy smoker’s voice too. Sexy. Watch episodes of Mad Men in place of porn, and find that special someone at your local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. We don’t have to tell you to always keep a lighter on hand, just in case someone needs it (just try not to stare).

5 Balloons
They’re big, bright, and kind of annoying, but balloons drive you wild. That squeaking sound they make when rubbed—it’s like a million women moaning at your touch. Speaking of touched, did you happen to repress any birthday parties you attended as a child? How do you feel about clowns? Clown suits? We’re just curious. Stay after every get together from here on out and offer to clean up (a.k.a. watch others fondle and pop your favorite sort of latex). Think ahead by bringing a batch of balloons to parties—everyone will mistake your perviness for kindness.

4 Giant Women
Amazon women are your dream women. The bigger, the better. That part in Alice in Wonderland—where she grows and is practically wearing the house she was in—makes you hot. You must’ve been a wee one when your sexual fixation began, looking up at the big, sexy world. Unfortunately, you might not be able to live your wildest fantasies out—the tallest woman in Guinness was 7’ 7’’, which is miniscule compared to what you’re looking for, and she recently passed away. Bummer. Photoshop pictures of you in the palms of your favorite celebs, print out, and enjoy.

3 Robots
Your girlfriend perfected her best robot voice, and you called her your Sexbot. You’ve watched the Femme-Bot scene in Austin Powers so many times the DVD no longer works right. Your childhood was spent having too much fun playing with your Omnibot 2000, watching Star Wars, and dreaming up ways technology will be advanced to “serve” you. You’ve been saving up for a humanoid robot straight out of Japan, but in the meantime attend comic book conventions (which we all know are geek orgies, anyways).

2 Snot, Squashing Bugs, and Other Nasty Things
What’s sick to some is lust-worthy to you: a foot stepping on a bug, glorious mucus dripping from noses and being blown all over your face. Your years as a young thing most likely involved an odd combination of older brothers or neighborhood bullies and an inability to develop distaste for the stuff that makes others nauseous. Think of this fetish as a teenage-boy form of S&M. With a whole bug-squashing adult film category, we’re certain there’s someone out there for you.

1 Adult Diapers, Large Cribs, Etc.
If you’ve Googled “Adult Babies,” you will most likely fit this category. We’re sorry to say you that if you’re into this sort of thing, you’ve probably had no childhood at all. In fact, you were probably born as a little man wearing a suit, a tie, a comb over, and a lack of imagination. This fetish developed as a way to relive the lost years of shitting your own pants and babbling like a drunken idiot. That’s cool if you’re into bland individuals going home, donning a diaper and bonnet, and sitting in an oversized crib—we guess—but we can’t really direct you to a source for where to go to embrace this particular fetish. Good luck.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Friday July 16th 2010

It's Friday, ya bastids!As we continue to struggle with the unemployment problem, we seem to keep coming across people who shouldn’t have the jobs they do have. Case in point—Brian Kilmeade, one of the hosts of conservo-morning show “Fox and Friends.” Kilmeade recently said that maybe having their unemployment benefits expire “will get people to sober up.” Does Brian Kilmeade think unemployed people are lazy? How much ambition does it take to have a job like Brian Kilmeade’s? All he has to do is trash unemployed people. OK, he does have to get up early to do it. Maybe he’s bitter over that. “If I’m setting my alarm for 4:30 a.m., I don’t want anybody who’s out of a job to get anything.” Sean Hannity claims he can’t find any racist signs at the tea party rallies. Maybe Sean doesn’t count the “n-word” as racist if it’s misspelled. Heck, if you don’t count misspellings or grammatical errors, there are no signs at the tea parties at all, except for a few backward swastikas. If Hannity can’t find any racist Tea Party signs, he must be looking at the wrong tea parties. Sean, if the tea parties you’re looking at for the signs include teddy bears, stuffed animals, and little girls, you’re looking at the wrong tea parties. There aren’t going to be racist signs at a little girl’s stuffed animal tea party… unless Ann Coulter has daughters that we don’t know about. Finally, another day, another audiotape of Mel Gibson ranting. This is getting a tad repetitive. How many times can you listen to somebody yell the “c-word”? Well, I guess you’d have to ask Oksana. Oksana was reportedly asking for $10 million to keep the tapes secret. After listening to them, I have to say that would have been a bargain. Heck, I think I’d be willing to part with $10 million dollars just to have avoided ever having heard those tapes.The weird thing is how much Mel is hyperventilating while he’s yelling. Don’t actors get training in breath work any more? The content of his rants means he probably can’t work in Hollywood any more. And the delivery of his rants means he’ll never get a job on Broadway. Mel, you have to learn to project without over-breathing. Let the “c-word” come from your diaphragm! Today's Homework

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Friend 'Reg'

About 12yrs ago I was working a Convention and I met this 'Fan Guy' there. He was a Fan of Fetish Models. He would come to all of my Convention Appearances and stay all day. Some might find this uncomfortable -but I feel ok with it. He would help me out by carrying my booth stuff, watching my booth while I had to go to the Bathroom, getting me something to eat etc. He was very helpful & I enjoyed seeing him at these events, I considered him a friend. Let`s call him 'Reg'.
Reg is a part-time sub-situte teacher with a bachelor degree in physiology -however you can tell he doesn`t work that much -because he doesn`t have much money & a lot of free time.
About 3years ago he came by the Bar I was working at to Visit me on my Birthday, have Lunch & Say Hi. That night I knew my Husband was throwing me a 'Surprise' Birthday Party -so I invited Reg. My Hubby didn`t really realized I invited someone to my 'Surprise' birthday party until later when he found out I knew all along.
Reg got to know my Hubby & all of our Friends in which we call 'The LBC Wack Pack'. They all got along very well. We invited Reg to our Monday Night Dinners in which I cook Dinner or Roy, my Hubby, Grills on the Roof -then we All watch a Movie or Sports on TV after Dinner. We also invite Reg to our Events & functions, we consider him a friend & part of the LBC Wack Pack.
Ever since we have known Reg, we noticed his clothes are sometimes a bit dirty, at times he smells really bad and his car is always messy & full of stuff. We suspected he might either be living out of his car or has a really small dirty cheap apartment. One time his car broke down & we offered to give him a ride home while it was being fixed. He told us to drive him to Huntington Beach -but he said not to drop him off at his house because he was embarrassed of his place, so we dropped him off Close to his place. We never pry-ed for information, we knew he might not want to tell us anything. Instead we just offered him to come around more if he wanted. I would let him stay at our house if we were going away, to watch our place, feed the cats, water the plants, etc. I would buy him some new clothes every so often.
On July 3rd we had a Pre-4th of July beach party. Reg was there all day. That night he went to go home -walked to his car -but his car was gone. He came back to our place & told us his car was Stolen. We freaked out -told Reg that we need to call the Cops -Reg did not want that -Reg said just to let it go. That did not make sence to us. We asked Reg many questions. FINALLY hours Later we FINALLY Get the Truth from Reg.
Reg`s Car was towed because the registration was expired. Reg cannot register his car because it will never pass smog. Reg has to just let the car go. Reg admitted that he has been living in his car and that all his stuff is in it. Reg has not worked in a long time and has no money. We told Reg that we will figure this out -in the meantime -he can stay with us.
Reg got to get his stuff out of his car. We let him clean up at our house. I washed his clothes. We found Reg a GREAT Shelter Program close by to us locally. They set him up in a hotel room of his very own for Only $5- a Night. They give Reg a $28- a day allowance for food & necessities. They help him find a Job, which they say will be easy because of his education. They do have rules, in which Reg is not a fan of. One of the rules is a 6pm curfew. Reg will not be able to come to our Monday Night Dinners for awhile, but we told him that is okay, that there will be many other Daytime activities that we can do. This program is awesome. It is comforting to know that this type of program exist!
There will probably be more updates on Reg, but so far that is where we are now. Reg just needs to stick with this program. He said he was in one similar a long time ago, but did not stick with it. We told him if he did that to us, and abandoned this program that we worked so hard in getting him into, that he will not be allowed back to our house. Not to be mean, but we cannot in-able him to remain in dire straits. This is the best for Reg. I will post updates as they transform.
oxox Stacy *Fetish-a-go-go* *Twitter Me* *My Go-Go Space*

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Thursday July 15th 2010

American companies are making money. Unfortunately for workers, that’s the only thing they’re making. It turns out that American companies are sitting on a pile of $1.8 trillion in cash, but still refuse to start hiring. They just sit on their cash instead of actually doing anything. Of course, when you think about it for a second, you realize that sitting on cash is what American companies do these days. Hey, why build railroad cars or software, when you can just manipulate cash? For one thing, it takes a lot fewer of those pesky workers. You don’t stand much chance of getting hired by these cash-hoarding companies, unless you’re job is guarding hoards of treasure. And that would mean you’re either a dragon or a leprechaun.
By the end of this month, 3 million jobless people will lose their unemployment benefits. And unlike American businesses, people with unemployment benefits spend the money, boosting the economy. You can’t hoard unemployment. It would be like trying to go on a food binge with a couple slices of bread and a package of Top Ramen noodles.

After being condemned by the NAACP for tolerating racism among their ranks, Tea Partiers are falling all over themselves to deny it. Below you can see video compilation of just a few of the racist comments made at Tea Party events, which is about as hard as making a video compilation of drunken comments made at spring break events. Check it out the video below. It’s like watching a Ku Klux Klan rally, except instead of sheets they have tacky outfits. Man, these are a bunch of poorly-dressed, ugly people. I had no idea how much those KKK robes hid. Please people, go back to the robes.

On a lighter note, billionaire Warren Buffet evidently wore a somewhat old, frayed tie to the White House yesterday, and President Obama gave him one of his own ties. Bad mistake, Barack—now this is going to be portrayed in the rightwing media as a neckwear bailout. Republicans will criticize President Obama for giving away that tie without offsetting the cost of the tie by cutting the budget somewhere else. And Warren Buffet knows how to save a dime. Now the next time he goes to the White House he’s going to be wearing a frayed jacket and pants and scuffed shoes.Today’s Homework

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Wednesday July 14th 2010

The NAACP yesterday adopted a resolution calling on the Tea Party to stop tolerating bigotry and racism. Uh oh. Time for the Tea Party people to start making swastika-filled signs with the NAACP leadership portrayed as Hitler. Maybe a nice protest sign with NAACP spokesman Ben Jealous dressed up as a witch doctor would be in order. Or maybe this is a good time for the Tea Party to parade out its black membership—I hope that guy is still around. The resolution didn't call the Tea Party racist, it just called on them to repudiate the racist element in the Tea Party. Which is kind of like asking the people at a comic book convention to repudiate the nerd element. You might as well ask NAMBLA to kick out all the sickos.
Meanwhile, the North Iowa Tea Party has put up a billboard comparing Obama to Hitler and to Lenin. The pathetic thing is that they probably threw in Lenin to soften it. By the way... the NORTH Iowa Tea Party? Doesn’t the Tea Party have a big enough tent for all the racists in Iowa? The only thing worse than racism is factionalized racism. If you can't get along with black people, North Iowa Tea Partiers, at least you could get along with South Iowa racists.
UPDATE: The North Iowa Tea Party requested that the billboard be taken down. Ha!
Rush Limbaugh is marking the death of George Steinbrenner by saying "That cracker made a lot of African-American millionaires." George Steinbrenner’s death? Really? Is there any event that Rush Limbaugh can’t turn into a platform for racism? This guy has ruined more funerals than Fred Phelps. Besides, those African-American ball players made themselves millionaires. George Steinbrenner just signed the checks.
Finally, a U.S. Appeals Court has struck down the FCC’s policy on indecency. Wow. Does that mean I can respond to this story without having to call it "a bunch of bull pucky"? If this ruling stands, a lot of people at the TNT network are going to be out of work—all the people who dream up and record all the bizarre phrases to replace swearing in the movies. This is a flippin' disaster! Son of a buck! You may never hear someone called a "melon-thumping rainslicker" again!Today's Homework Unbelievable...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Tuesday July 13th 2010

Warning: if you’re in the richest 1% of Americans, you probably won’t want to read this. Of course if you are, you probably have hired someone to do your reading for you. We’ve been talking recently about the growing income gap in this country. As a piece in the New York Times from Ross Douthat points out, part of the problem is systemic. The rich simply make the game to expensive for anybody but the rich to win. Speaking of which, did you hear that George Steinbrenner died? Yes, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is dead at 80. He suffered a massive heart attack. Well, it was George Steinbrenner, so you knew it had to be massive. George Steinbrenner is not going to have a reasonably sized heart attack. Great. You know if Steinbrenner gets into Heaven, he’s going to bring in a bunch of very high-priced free agents. And that’ll end up making it too expensive for anybody else.
In news that isn’t really news at all, now the right wing is obsessed with the so-called "New Black Panthers." The rightwing has tried to tie Obama to the Black Panthers with this crap, and before that to the Weather Underground with David Ayers. Can’t they find any scary bogeymen from less than 40 years ago? What’s next? Are they going to start warning us about the dangers from those bongo-banging beatniks? And what about those immoral flappers with their bootleg gin and that crazy Lindy Hop they keep doing? In reality, the charges against the New Black Panthers were downgraded during the Bush Administration. But then when has the rightwing noise machine been concerned about what happens in reality?
Finally, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt is calling on Louisiana Senator David Vitter to donate his diapers to help sop up the oil spill. If you haven’t heard about Vitter’s diapers, David Vitter doesn’t have a problem with incontinence, he has a problem with hookers. The rumor that he liked to have hookers put diapers on him are unsubstantiated. The fact that David Vitter liked hookers—period—is well substantiated. Maybe David Vitter should embrace his reputation for liking diapers. I can see his campaign slogan now: David Vitter—change you can believe in. Today’s Homework

Monday, July 12, 2010

Randi Rhodes Newsletter for Monday July 12th 2010

Just our luck, we take a little time off, and stuff keeps happening. Spain beat Holland yesterday in the World Cup final, by a score of 1-0. I swear there is less scoring at a soccer game than at a Star Trek convention. 1-0 doesn’t sound like the score of a major sports championship. It sounds like the vote totals in a Utah state Democratic primary.
Meanwhile, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has been falsely claiming that illegal immigrants were responsible for beheadings in Arizona . Wow, I thought all those guys hanging out in the parking lot of the Home Depot were job hunters, not headhunters.
BP says that they may be able to place a containment cap on the spewing oil well as early as today. Of course, if you’ve been paying attention for the past 84 days, you realize that should read “as late as today.” Great, we finally may be reaching the point where the BP oil well is spewing fewer toxics than Mel Gibson is. Yes, new audio of Mel Gibson going off on a racist rant has been released. Mel has quite a history of this kind of stuff. I think he has enough audio for a box set now. How many racists rants has Mel Gibson had recorded? This guy is to hate speech what Frank Zappa was to guitar instrumentals. All Mel does is spew racism and hatred. Isn’t it time we got this guy out of the movies, and onto right wing talk radio?
Sarah Palin has released a video. It’s about as deep as a Justin Beiber video, and as crazy as a Lady Gaga video. The video is being described as recycled platitudes, which is rather kind to Sarah Palin, seeing as how she probably doesn’t know what a platitude is. She probably thinks it’s a duck-billed marsupial mammal native to Australia .
Finally, a fourth of Americans now have credit scores below 600. Yeesh. If Americans’ credit scores get much lower, they’re going to start looking like soccer scores.>>> MORE

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Questions for Hugh Hefner

Sex and the Single Man
Published: July 5, 2010

In 1953, you founded Playboy magazine in Chicago and invented the notion of the sexually triumphant American male. Yet “Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel,” a documentary by Brigitte Berman opening in New York on July 30, depicts you less as a purveyor of soft-core porn than as a noble champion of First Amendment rights. Is that actually how you see yourself?
I think the major thing I managed to accomplish was playing some part in changing our social and sexual values, and I take a lot of pride in that. When I was in college, middle-class kids couldn’t live together before they got married.

Pej Behdarvand for The New York Times

Times Topic: Hugh Hefner
More Questions For ColumnsIn the film, which features you in your silk pajamas, surrounded by adoring blondes at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, you’re still promoting the joys of bachelorhood. But many of your early readers have since settled into family life, which probably offers the greater chance for happiness.
I think there is no single answer, no single road to Mecca. I have been married twice, and those were not the happiest times of my life. Part of the problem, quite frankly, is that when you get married, the romance disappears and the children arrive and the love is transferred. It shouldn’t be that way, but too often it is transferred to the children.

There is more to life than being adored. There are other rewards to marriage.
Unfortunately, they come from other women.

Do you think you contributed to the culture of arrested men, of which I would say David Letterman is the team captain?
I was going to do some kind of play on words in terms of “arrested,” but I’m not going to do it.

What do you make of the emotionally limited men depicted in Judd Apatow movies, who seem to prefer one another’s company to that of women? Is this a new development?
No. The whole 1950s notion was find the right girl, get married, move to the suburbs and then hang out with the guys while she stayed home with the babies. I felt that was sort of sad.

Playboy’s circulation, which peaked in the ’70s at 7 million, is down to about 1.5 million. Is there money to be made in magazines these days?
Certainly in Playboy’s case they make money by being in other businesses. To begin with, it was the magazine that carried the brand; now the brand carries the magazine.

What products are you referring to besides the reality television show “The Girls Next Door,” which is set at your mansion?
We have merchandise that we sell all over, like clothing. We’re one of the main men’s upscale brands on the mainland of Red China, where the magazine is not yet permitted.

In the meantime, Playboy’s ideal of feminine beauty has become passé. Contemporary models don’t go for that old voluptuous hourglass shape.
Obviously women are taller, healthier, more athletic today than they were before. That certainly is a slimming down, but I don’t think there’s been a great deal of change in terms of perception of beauty.

The look now is more androgynous, flatter.
I question that seriously. When has the notion of flat-chested come in since the 1920s?

You’re referring to flappers?
That was the last time that small breasts were popular.

What about Twiggy in the ’60s?
Obviously we went through a period where models reflected the Twiggy phenomenon, but that didn’t have much to do with what actually was attractive to the opposite sex.

Do you take a lot of Viagra?
I don’t take a lot, but I take it when it’s called for.

How often is it called for?
I make love a couple of times a week, and I take the Viagra when I’m going to be making love. I would say at 84 it helps. It’s God’s little helper.

You’re not paid by Viagra to say that, are you?
No, they get that advertising from me for free.

What are you planning for the future?
More of the same.


Monday, July 5, 2010

a Message from Tom Leykis & The New Normal Network!

Tom Leykis here.
As you probably know, I am not currently able to do my daily talk show because I am still under contract to CBS.
So, in the meantime, I have created a new music format called New Normal Music. We have kicked off our format by playing 50,000 songs in a row, no song less than 12 months old. If your favorite alternative radio station that still plays ancient songs by Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2 and Nirvana could have a kid, this would be him. In just three days, we are the Internet’s number one indie format! And, with better sound quality than your favorite station.
If you’re looking for a music format to enjoy your summer, this is the one. Would you give it an hour and let me know what you think? It’s on right now. Here is the link: Just don’t call it radio. It’s BETTER than radio. It’s New Normal Music!
You will be hearing my voice soon, and you will see me profiled in (can you believe it?) the Los Angeles Times and the Los Angeles Business Journal! And, because so many people have asked for it, coming later this month, your professor will blog, answer sex and relationship questions (like how to stay OUT of a relationship!), and give you all the guy news you can stand on
Write me at at any time. And for news about the Gary & Dino Show daily podcast, The Tasting Room with Tom Leykis, and everything else we’re doing, coming to The New Normal website,
Thanks for all your support.

Tom Leykis

Friday, July 2, 2010

The New Normal Network

FINALLY - NEW MUSIC - The New Normal Music Network - Click to Listen NOW!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Gulf Spill Leaves Horror in its Wake

Countdown's Keith Olbermann talked to John Wathen from The Waterkeeper Alliance who has been photographing the disastrous environmental impact of the oil spill in the Gulf.