Randi Rhodes: The L Word

The Fact Checker column in the Washington Post asks if Newt Gingrich is being misleading. That depends—is he talking? Newt claims he was not a lobbyist, and he makes a big deal about the fact that his contracts specify he will do no lobbying. Yes, and any deal with a hitman makes it specifically clear that nobody is to get hurt. Gingrich said that “Freddie Mac was interested in advice on how to reach out to more conservatives.” Hey, I know the answer to this one—hire a former Speaker of the House to lobby them, right? Nope. According to Newt his advice to Freddie was to stress “the historical success of public-private partnerships.” There you go, Freddie! That will be $1.8 million dollars, please.

At a campaign rally, Herman Cain sampled a Cuban delicacy and asked “How do you say delicious in Cuban?” Try “muy stupido,” Herman. For the record, Cubans speak Spanish. Maybe Herman thinks that the language of Cuban must be spoken by the people of Cubana. And of course, the people of Cubana are called Cubists. Cain doesn’t speak a second language. Heck, it’s debatable whether or not he speaks a first language.

Now Rick Perry has managed to say some things that are stupider than Herman Cain and more evil than Newt Gingrich. This is going to be a hard-fought primary alright. Perry said that President Obama “never had to go through what Americans are going through.” Wow. A perfect blend of ignorance and lies, seasoned with a generous portion of racism. Heat it up, and serve it on Fox News. Then Rick says “It’s like, his thinking that that he can go and negotiate because of his great debating skills anyplace in the world.” We need somebody like Rick Perry doing our negotiating—someone who will go in there with a list of demands... and then forget what one of them is.

Here’s where it really gets golden—Perry says Obama’s “thinking that he’s the smartest guy in the room has hurt America around the world.” Let me just state the obvious—I’m quite sure Rick Perry has never been guilty of thinking he is the smartest guy in the room. Hey, if he can stand with the rest of the Republican candidates and not think that he is the smartest person in that room, well it’s never going to happen.

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