Monday, June 6, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Naughty Weiner & Creepy Santorum

BREAKING: Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) admits to sending photos to women; says he will not resign

Rick Santorum declared his candidacy for president of the United States today, saying he is “in it to win it.” At this point, it seems anybody could win the Republican nomination, but that still doesn’t include Rick Santorum. The Republican field is weak, but for Rick Santorum to have a chance, the field would have to be even worse. Rick Santorum wouldn’t stand a chance in a field full of scarecrows.

Santorum didn’t try to dance around Paul Ryan’s plan to destroy Medicare. He stepped right in it. And now he’s going to be tracking it all over the primary election. In fact, Santorum proudly said that he’s even worse than Paul Ryan. Well, not in those exact words. Well, maybe after Rick Santorum’s campaign is stillborn, he can bring it back to his family so they can cuddle it.

Among those losers who aren’t even going to run, Sarah Palin is sticking with her version of American history, probably because in most other people’s version of American history, she’s one of the bad guys. Sarah gave an extremely garbled version of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. If Paul Revere was as off-track as Sarah Palin had been he would have ridden his horse into Boston Harbor. Palin had described Paul Revere as warning the British(!) not to touch our guns by “making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells.” I assume his horse had an NRA bumper sticker as well. Paul Revere’s ride was much different in reality. But reality is a place that Sarah Palin’s bus has never been to.

This weekend Palin said “You know what? I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere.” Well I guess if she can re-write the history of things that happened over 200 years ago, she can re-write the history of things that happened a couple of days ago. Then Sarah went on to expand on her original story of Paul Revere. What she essentially did was to take a narrative that she had completely wrong, and add some more incorrect details. Palin claimed that Paul Revere warned the British “You are not gonna beat our own well-armed uh, persons, uh, individual private militia that we have.” OK… is something technically not incorrect if it’s impossible to understand? “Listen my children, and you shall hear… Sarah Palin’s story of Paul Revere.” Yes, children—listen politely, but don’t believe a word she says.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

NRA, you’re doin’ a heckuva job! US born Al-Qaeda spokesman Adam Gadahn has released a video encouraging terrorists to take advantage of America’s gun-show loophole…

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