Thursday, May 19, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Cash Cages

Republicans in charge of state governments all over America are trying to privatize prison systems. I think it’s part of their plan to lock up all of the money under the guise of saving money. I’m no economist, but it seems to me that if there are corporations out there who make money when people are thrown in jail, they’re going to arrange it so that more and more people are thrown in jail.

Today President Obama gave a major speech about the volatile situation in the Middle East. And it will be added to 4,000 years of major speeches about the volatile situation in the Middle East. In 2250 BC, I’m sure that Sargon the Great made a major speech about the troubles in Mesopotamia. And I bet he assured everyone that he would make sure that tensions in the Middle East would not be a problem going forward.

Well, the first of the posthumous Osama bin Laden tapes has been released. Just like with Jimi Hendrix or 2Pac, you can’t really expect sparkling quality on these recordings. There will be a lot of demos, experiments, jam sessions, and just plain goofing around in the studio. I just hope they don’t try to make the product more commercial with overdubs. I don’t want to hear Osama threatening death to everyone with a string section in the background.

Sarah Palin has crawled out of her hole. If she sees her shadow, that means we’ll have six more weeks of her pretending she’s going to run. If Sarah Palin is back, that means we’ve scraped away enough potential GOP presidential candidates that now we can see the bottom of the barrel.

Newt Gingrich claims he wasn’t ready for Meet the Press, saying “it didn’t occur to me going in that you’d have a series of setups.” Gee Newt, if by “setups,” you’re referring to the questions, you would think the name “Meet the Press” would have been a clue. Newt had been on Meet the Press 34 times previously. I guess he’s admitting that he’s a VERY slow learner. Newt, if you didn’t know that you were going to face questions on Meet the Press, then you’re really going to get blindsided when you appear on “Dancing with the Stars.” “I have to tango? What kind of setup is this? This is a hypothetical baloney dance!”

And it turns out that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child was born only days apart from the birth of his son with Maria Shriver. Is “love child” the correct term? I just know it sounds better than a “Hey there’s the maid and I’m horny” child.

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