Friday, April 22, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Boozy Quid Pro Quo & Fallen Philanderers

Republicans in Wisconsin are trying to mount recall efforts against Democratic legislators to answer the recall campaigns Democrats have launched against Republicans. The Republicans brought in paid signature gatherers from out of state. Some of these Republican signature gatherers have a criminal record, or as Republicans call it, “prior campaign experience.”

The Wisconsin Democratic Party is filing a complaint to the state Government Accountability Board saying that a Republican signature-gatherer offered alcoholic beverages in exchange for signatures. I’m shocked! Wisconsin still has a Government Accountability Board? The complaint says that a signature gatherer was offering free shots to people at a Wisconsin tavern if they signed a recall petition. There’s even an audio recording of it! The recording sounds like a lot of exchanges you hear in bars, except it’s “I’ll buy you girls some shots if you sign this petition,” instead of “I’ll buy you girls some shots if you make out with each other.” The girls don’t sound too bright. At least some of them signed the petition. Any woman with her act together knows there are plenty of ways to take free drinks from a guy without giving him what he wants.

Nevada Senator John Ensign has announced he is resigning. It’s never good for a sitting Senator to have to resign. It’s even worse when a Senator resigns and everybody’s first thought is “Finally!” Ensign said “For my family and me, this continued personal cost is simply too great.” But then John Ensign wasn’t too concerned about the “cost” when he got into this mess… which is the same approach he took to the cost of Iraq, Bush’s tax cuts for the rich, and Medicare Part D.

John Ensign was the perfect poster boy for Republican sleaziness and hypocrisy. All I can say now is “thank God for David Vitter!” That’s the beautiful thing about the Republicans—every time they lose one of their Senate hypocrisy all-stars, there’s somebody there to take their place. If John Ensign is the David Lee Roth of the Republican Senator sex scandal band, then David Vitter is the Sammy Hagar. I guess that means Larry Craig is Gary Cherone.

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