Randi Rhodes: Nuclear Physicist Ann Coulter

Friday, March 18, 2011

It’s Friday, ya bastids!

Japan’s nuclear safety agency raised the severity of the situation from a 4 to a 5 on an international scale with 7 levels. I’m glad that they have a numeric scale. It saves me the trouble of trying to spell “Chernobyl” correctly. Radiation has now reached Southern California, but in levels so miniscule that they pose no threat. On the West Coast, there’s a run at health stores on kelp products that supposedly protect from certain types of radiation. I’m pretty sure it’s liberals buying most of the kelp products at the health stores. The conservatives are buying bullets. Kelp and bullets… wow. If the crap ever really hits the fan, I guess liberals will just have to hope the conservative nutcases succumb to thyroid cancer before they start shooting everyone.

Ann Coulter is now arguing that radiation is good for you. Really. I wouldn’t even think to make up something like this to smear Ann Coulter with. Give the woman credit for originality. Ann says “anyone exposed to excess radiation from the nuclear power plants is now probably much less likely to get cancer.” Radiation is healthy! I had no idea. Here all those hippies are putting herbal concoctions in their baths, when they should have been using nuclear fuel rods. Ann, if you’re so convinced of the healing properties of a big dose of radiation, you might want to volunteer to help cool the reactors at the plant in Japan. Coulter even claims that the animals around the Chernobyl reactor are “thriving.” Sure, especially if you consider an extra leg or eye or face to be part of a thriving lifestyle.

Really, Ann, why stop at saying that radiation is merely healthy? Go all the way. I think you’ll find a lot of people who think that radiation gives you superpowers. Why, if you can just get bitten by a radioactive spider, you’ll be able to “do whatever a spider can!” “Is he strong? Listen bud, He’s got radioactive blood.” Thanks, radiation! Now I’m going out and fighting crime!

Is it really surprising that Ann Coulter thinks radiation is good for you? Look at her. This is a woman who isn’t even aware of the health benefits of eating food.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) mocks the GOP yesterday on the House floor over voting to defund NPR…