Randi Rhodes: Porn Patrol

Rick Santorum is promising to fight pornography. That’s rich—depending on what search engine you use, Santorum IS pornography. Rick, for most Americans, pornography is not a priority. OK, I need to rephrase that. For most Americans, fighting pornography is not a priority. Judging from the numbers, pornography itself is a huge priority for a lot of Americans. And you can’t deny that the porn industry gives a lot of people jobs. You can make a double entendre joke out of it, but you can’t deny it. Anti-pornography crusaders say that porn is damaging to women. Perhaps so, but it’s not nearly as damaging as Republican policies. Here’s the irony—Republicans would like to outlaw depictions of penetration among willing participants, while mandating penetration for women who don’t want it.

Santorum blasted President Obama for not enforcing laws against pornography. Sorry, I guess he got distracted by catching bin Laden and saving the auto industry. Give it up, Rick. The only thing that’s sadder than a man who is obsessed with porn is a man who is obsessed with porn, without ever actually enjoying it. Of course, I may be assuming too much.

Yesterday, Mitt Romney won the primary in Puerto Rico after failing to come up with a gaffe anywhere near as big as Rick Santorum telling the Puerto Ricans they had to learn English. The Romney campaign pointed to the win in Puerto Rico as a sign of Romney’s strength. It’s really more of a sign of Rick Santorum’s weakness. But then Rick’s weakness is Romney’s greatest strength. Romney won 83 percent of the vote in Puerto Rico. 83 percent! This was a victory so lopsided that even the Republicans are able to count the ballots correctly.

This weekend the Occupy Wall Street movement marked the 6-month anniversary of the uprising with protests in Manhattan. Dozens of people were arrested at the protests on Saturday, which was St. Patrick’s Day. What exactly are they going to be charged with—disorderly conduct on the streets of New York on St. Patrick’s? Everyone on the streets on St. Paddy’s Day is disorderly! The Occupy protesters should have been dressed in kilts and leprechaun hats. You can do anything you want on St. Patrick’s Day if you’re dressed like that.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

While introducing (and then laying hands on) Rick Santorum yesterday, Pastor Dennis Terry had a very special message for all non-Christian-nation Americans: get out!

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