Randi Rhodes: Beyond Mere Mortals

It's Friday, ya bastids!

Newt Gingrich said that his mind works on such a grand scale that “the news media can’t cover it and, candidly, my opponents can’t comprehend it.” We can’t get our minds around Newt’s ideas any more than Callista can get her arms around Newt’s waist. Newt also said “The willful avoidance of knowledge, it’s astonishing.” This is a Republican talking! Newt, you can’t complain about “the willful avoidance of knowledge” when you’ve spent the past few months trying to appeal to voters who don’t believe in evolution or global warming. “The willful avoidance of knowledge” is the motto of today’s Republican Party! They just won’t let themselves know that.

Rick Santorum is trying to “clarify” his comments that Puerto Rico would have to adopt English as its official language if they want to become a state. The Santorum campaign said Rick “knows there’s no current federal law in place — but what he was talking about — is that once English is made the official language, obviously all states would need to comply.” So Rick Santorum wants us to comply with laws he just thinks should be in place! Great! Rick Santorum is already living in his dream world... and now he’s insisting that the rest of us join him there!

President Obama is out mocking the Republican’s ideas on energy... which is hard to do when you realize that the Republicans have no ideas on energy. The President said that if Republicans had been around when Columbus sailed, that they would have been part of the Flat Earth Society. It’s odd to think of Republicans being around when Columbus sailed—Republicans seem to be living in the 15th century right now.

The second huge post-death Andrew Breitbart scoop about President Obama is out—and it’s deader than Breitbart himself. It turns out that, 14 years ago, Barack Obama attended a play about Saul Alinsky. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I hope you were sitting down. Of course, the Breitbart people made their big expose on Sean Hannity’s show. What? You were expecting “60 Minutes”? Hey, these revelations are so pathetic that I doubt they could get booked on “The Search for Bigfoot” on the Animal Planet network.

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Bravo, Mr. President...

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