Friday, March 9, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Grits Y'All

It's Friday, ya bastids!

Mitt Romney is campaigning in Alabama and Mississippi. Mitt actually told a crowd in Mississippi “I am learning to say ‘y'all’ and I like grits and things.” I hope your staff briefed you about the grits, Mitt. You can put butter on them. You can put cheese on them. But don’t put truffles, pate, or arugula on them. “Yes, I’ll have the grits with foie gras and balsamico, some braised squab, and a side of Tuscan greens... y’all.”

There’s more good news on the economy—this month’s jobs report looks excellent. I know, I said that last month. And the month before that. If it sounds like I’m repeating myself, that’s because the good news on the economy is repeating itself. Payrolls have now grown by more than 200,000 for three months in a row. Of course, you knew that from the fact that the Republicans have spent the last three months talking about things like contraception.

Sarah Palin has accused President Obama of “bringing us back to the days before the Civil War.” Really! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard in weeks—and we’re in the middle of a Republican Primary! Palin thinks President Obama needs to learn that “Here in America we are equal and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin.” Sarah, President Obama doesn’t have to learn that. He embodies that. Sarah Palin is a paid political commentator on Fox News. She gets money for giving her opinion. That would be like paying Betty White to help you move a piano.

Joe the Plumber said that a question from CNN about his prior remarks on gays was a “gotcha” question. Joe, the problem is that when you’re as dumb as you are, any question can “getcha.”

And Pat Robertson has come out for legalizing marijuana. For the record, marijuana is the only thing Pat Robertson thinks should be legal. Is it possible that Pat Roberstson is a closet stoner? It would explain a lot of the stuff he says. Pat, you gotta get some mellower buds—that stuff you’re smoking is making you paranoid. I haven’t been stoned for ages, but I was never so wasted that I thought a hurricane was punishment for homosexuality.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

President Obama on today's jobs report...

No comments: