Friday, August 20, 2010

Randi Rhodes: Sacred Ground

It's Friday, ya bastids!
Some of the strippers at the clubs near Ground Zero have spoken out. Give them credit… it’s not easy to take a stand when you’re wearing 8-inch heels. They should survey all of the strippers in lower Manhattan. If there’s anyone who is familiar with the concept of “polls,” it’s strippers.
Here’s some news for opponents of the center—Muslim prayer services have been held since 2009 at the proposed community center site. The new part of the proposal is an Islamic community center with a swimming pool and gym. So are opponents really just opposed to Muslims getting into shape? OK Muslims, you can pray, but don’t do any crunches! Maybe opposition to the gym and the pool would be a clever move. There is a right to freedom of religion in the Constitution, but no specific right to work out. Yes, the Declaration of Independence does mention a right to “the pursuit of happiness,” but in my experience working out has nothing to do with happiness.
Why are 20-somethings taking so long to grow up? People in their 20’s are still searching for themselves. I can tell you where you can find yourself—in the bathroom. At least that’s where you are every time I need to use it. Anyway, for people who can’t commit, kids in their 20’s seem to have no problem committing to having some tramp-stamp tattooed on their upper butts for the rest of their lives. I’m glad I didn’t commit to a tattoo in my early 20’s. I would have spent the past couple of decades explaining to people who the hell Night Ranger is.
On that note, a new study says that the “cougar” phenomenon of older women hooking up with younger guys doesn’t really exist. As soon as they heard that, a bunch of young guys thought “Great. I just learned to dance ‘the Hustle’ for nothing.” A researcher named Michael Dunn says he searched and was unable to find any evidence of cougars. My first question would be “how old is Michael Dunn?” If he’s is over 40, he’s wasting his time looking for cougars. We’re not coming out for him. If you want to find us, Michael Dunn, don’t go looking yourself. Send out Zac Efron. Today’s Homework Discuss

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