Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Randi Rhodes 'Base Biting'

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs recently had some harsh words for the “professional left.” Is there really a professional left? If anybody starts making real money as a leftist, they automatically shift to the right. “Hey, between appearing on MSNBC and writing for Mother Jones, I made over $200,000 last year. Maybe tax cuts for the rich aren’t such a bad idea after all…” Should the White House be concerned about criticism from the left when the right is so over the top? There’s a difference between saying “Obama could be doing a better job” and “Obama is a socialist commie Muslim.” The left is telling Obama to go further. The right is telling Obama to go to Hell. Everybody needs to chill. And you have to expect harsh criticism from those closest to you, Robert Gibbs. Haven’t you ever been to a family Thanksgiving?
Fed-up former JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater has posted bail and left jail, though for this exit there was no slide to deploy. Slater hired a car to take him home. If I were the driver, I’d be a little nervous that Steven would try to deploy the airbags. At least this exit was on better terms. As Slater was released, employees leaving the prison were shouting “You’re a hero. You’re a celebrity.” They were impressed! And this being New York, I imagine those prison employees have dealt with their share of celebrities. But I don’t know if I want prison employees imitating Steven Slater. They can’t “deploy the slide.” What do they do when they get fed up and quit? “Open the bars”? “That’s it! I’m outta here! And so is everybody on Rikers Island!” Meanwhile, his Facebook fans are demanding that Slater get his job back. Is that a good idea? I think some people on his flights would deliberately push him in the hopes of getting to see him “pop the chute.” Steven Slater would become a human “test your skill” game. See if you can make the flight attendant crack! Free slide rides if you do!
Newt Gingrich’s second wife says he asked her to marry him before he told his first wife, and that he didn’t tell her before asking his third wife to marry him. Confused? I think at this point even Newt Gingrich is. Newt Gingrich has had a lot of wives. No wonder he has trouble keeping them straight. This guy has wives the way John McCain has houses.
Today’s Homework Discuss
In honor of Steven Slater, here's some classic office rage from YouTube:

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