Monday, January 23, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Newt-Mentum!

What a weekend! The sounds coming out of South Carolina were almost as bad as the sounds coming out of Steven Tyler. Newt Gingrich shocked the political world with his big comeback in South Carolina. OK, the crazy rightwing extremist candidate won the crazy rightwing extremist state. Why should anybody be shocked? Now it looks like Newt Gingrich has come back from the dead! But then that’s how Newt Gingrich always looks. It was fun watching Mitt squirm after South Carolina, but it always disturbing to see Newt in his triumphant mode. That’s the only problem with these Republican primaries—somebody has to win them. People are saying “now, anything can happen!” Let’s get real. Only two things can happen—Mitt Romney, or Newt Gingrich. So nothing good can happen.

South Carolina is full of lunatics who love to cause trouble. It was always a perfect match for Newt Gingrich. Floridians don’t have as much in common with Newt... other than the alligators, that is. If you look at the polls for Florida, Newt Gingrich’s line shows radical swings up and down... kind of like Newt Gingrich himself. Can Florida possibly vote for a scary rightwing extremist with a history of terrible ethics problems? I can answer that in four words: “Florida Governor Rick Scott.”

Mitt Romney is only releasing his tax returns from last year, along with an estimate for his taxes this year. Those returns are the ones that were prepared with an eye to running for the presidency. They’ve been sanitized... for Mitt’s protection. Mitt, release returns from the years before you were running for president! It’s a lot easier if you just rip the band-aid off in one quick yank. Unless what we’re dealing with here is a lot more than a band-aid. You can’t yank off a full-body cast.

When you weren’t listening to South Carolinians howl for Newt over the weekend, you could listen to Steven Tyler howl. If you didn’t see it, Steven’s rendition of the National Anthem was even more off target than the Baltimore Ravens’ field goal attempt at the end of the game. Back to American Idol, Steven. They say that those who can’t do, teach. And those that really can’t do, judge. ”

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