Monday, January 30, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Mitt Surges

In Florida, Mitt Romney is surging ahead of Newt Gingrich in the polls. Florida may be dangling from the United States, but we’re not that far out there. Despite what it looks like on the map, South Carolina is way more out there than Florida. If Newt Gingrich is stopped here in Florida, that shows that South Carolina is crazier than Florida. Add the fact that Iowa showed this year that their elections are more poorly run than Florida elections, and Florida has beaten two negative stereotypes in one election! And if Newt Gingrich doesn’t win the nomination, it will break South Carolina’s streak of always picking the candidate who eventually wins the nomination in every Republican primary since 1980. What South Carolina did will just be an aberration that won’t affect what the more rational states do. Of course, that’s what people were hoping back in 1861, too.

Last week in South Carolina, Herman Cain said “We the people are still in charge of this country, and I am endorsing we the people.” Some endorsements don’t make sense politically—Herman Cain’s endorsements don’t even make sense grammatically. Herman evidently had a change of heart, and he endorsed Newt Gingrich on Saturday in Florida. Or maybe Herman wants to continue endorsing “we the people” while getting a little side action with Newt.

Sarah Palin says Florida voters should “rage against the machine” and vote for Newt. Sarah, both you and Newt are parts of the machine. Damaged, malfunctioning parts that make a lot of terrible noises... but still parts of the machine. Sarah said “both party machines” are trying to “crucify Newt Gingrich.” Sarah, the Democrats aren’t trying to crucify Newt. On the contrary, they want to see him be resurrected.

Finally, there’s a great photo of Mitt Romney carving up a roasted pig on the campaign trail in Florida. I’m pretty sure that photo op was for the Florida’s Hispanic community... and not for Florida’s Jewish community. Mitt looks like he’s enjoying it. But then we know from his work at Bain that Mitt likes carving up dead carcasses.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

New Rules: Bill Maher asks who the *bleep* is Saul Alinsky and why are the Republicans running against a fictional Obama (salty language - may not be safe for work)...

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