It's Friday, ya bastids!Joe Biden is out on the campaign, assuring voters that President Obama has “a big stick.” He told a crowd “I promise you, the President has a big stick. I promise you.” He was referring to the Teddy Roosevelt quote “speak softly and carry a big stick.” Then Teddy would lean into the microphone and say “That’s what SHE said!” Maybe it was intentional—maybe Joe Biden heard the rumors about Mitt Romney, and he wants to close any possible “stick size gap.” In any case, I can’t imagine Obama being upset if Joe Biden has to tell him “I think I mistakenly gave a crowd the impression you have an enormous penis.” Obama should just say “What do you mean ‘mistakenly’?”
The Vice President made his reference to Obama’s big stick during a speech contrasting the foreign policies of Obama and Romney. You’d think that Mitt Romney would be better at foreign policy than he is. After all, every place on earth is foreign territory to Mitt Romney. Every time you see Mitt Romney take the podium, you expect his speech to begin “Greetings, people of Earth!” Biden said that Romney views the world “through a Cold War prism.” And then the Romney campaign basically responded by accusing Obama of being in line with “the Rooskis.” Seriously—one of Romney’s foreign policy advisors make a reference to “Czechoslovakia,” which hasn’t existed since the early 1990’s. I’m surprised they didn’t refer to it as “the Holy Roman Empire.” Obama is sucking up to Charlemagne! Here’s a little advice for the Mitt Romney campaign—when somebody accuses you of living in the past, don’t respond with references that are several decades out of date. Mitt Romney will keep America safe, alright—he’ll keep it safely stuck in 1965.
Biden brought it home by saying “Osama bin Laden is dead, and General Motors is alive.” If Romney had been president, that would be reversed. His attitude was “let Detroit go bankrupt, and let bin Laden do what he wants.” In 2007, Romney said this about looking for Osama bin Laden: “It’s not worth moving heaven and earth, spending billions of dollars, just to catch one person.” Romney endorses hundreds of billions of dollars in tax cuts for the rich. In Mitt Romney’s world, it’s more important to eliminate the estate tax than it is to eliminate Osama bin Laden.
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