Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Randi Rhodes: End of the Line

Today is primary day in five states. The best news for Republicans is that it’s no longer really necessary for them to go out and vote for any of those losers. There’s only one loser left, so it’s academic. After today, Mitt Romney’s hold on the nomination will be as solid as that stuff he puts in his hair.

For his part, Mitt Romney is waxing poetic about how much he loves his vacations in France! Mitt spoke of how he loved “walking around the city of Paris... one of the most magnificent cities in the world.” And all of it paid for with socialist economic policies! I’m not sure you know this, Mitt, but the Louvre is not privately owned… or I’m sure that Bain would have bought it and sold the Mona Lisa to the highest bidder.

Sean Hannity is saying that poor people don’t ever go to bed hungry because they have things like air conditioners and stereos. I guess he thinks they can eat their appliances. Why don’t you people just barbecue your stereo sub-woofer and enjoy it with a nice cool glass of freon from the air conditioner? Sean, some become destitute after they tasted enough “luxury” to have a few appliances. They used to have food—that’s why they still have that empty refrigerator! Well, that and the hope that there will be food again at some point in the future. Then Sean lets you in on a little secret—you can “survive” on rice and beans. Really! That’s the Republican solution to income inequality—99 percent of you are going to have to learn to live with less! Sean assures you “There are ways to live really, really cheaply.” That would be a good point to throw in “So vote for Mitt Romney!”

A spokesman for the RNC says that the Republican Party’s economic platform will be the George Bush program, “just updated.” Great! Are you ready for “Bush 2.0”? “Updated” is an interesting choice of word. You can’t really say “new and improved,” because it really isn’t either one of those. It’s “updated” because they plan on just taking all of George Bush’s economic policies and changing the header on the page to read “January, 2013.” 

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