Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Motor City Menace

Ted Nugent isn’t backing down from inflammatory statements he made about President Obama. Hello! He’s a gun nut! They have to “stand their ground,” even if the consequences are tragic for everyone. Earlier, Nugent had said “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Amazing, that seems to be part threat, and part promise. It’s not just that Ted was making threatening statements about the President—he was making them at an NRA convention. It’s dangerous to play with matches, but it’s crazy to do it in a room soaked with gasoline. Ted told the NRA members “If you can’t galvanize and promote and recruit people to vote for Mitt Romney, we’re done.” Ted is telling NRA goons that their only hope is to get behind a preppy millionaire phony who secretly despises them. It’s like telling a gathering of Hell’s Angels that their new leader is Mitch McConnell. Close ranks!

Now Ted is doubling down on his statements, with the operative word being “down.” Ted is sinking lower, if that is possible. Ted said “I’m a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally.” No, Ted—if you were black, there would be at least a hint of rhythm in your music. And if you were a Jew, the lyrics would be a lot better. The bottom line, Ted, is that entertainers are allowed to be crazy, but there is a line. I don’t know exactly where the line is, but it’s somewhere between where Gary Busey is... and where Phil Spector is.

Ted Nugent is not only a chicken-hawk, he’s chicken-crap as well!. Do you know how Ted Nugent avoided the draft during Vietnam? He actually crapped in his pants for a week before going to take his draft board physical. Really! Ted Nugent got out of Vietnam by “pulling a Seamus.” In interviews from years ago, Ted told how, for week before his draft board physical, he stopped going to the bathroom. Oh, he still peed and pooped… he just stopped doing it in the bathroom. Ted spent a week crapping his pants, so that he didn’t have to go fight in Vietnam... which undoubtedly would have caused him to crap his pants again. Of course, in later interviews, Ted brags that if he had gone to Vietnam, “I would have killed everybody.” Yeah, if they got a whiff of what was in your pants! Everything Ted says about his patriotism and his past is a lie. When you look at it that way, maybe he IS the perfect spokesman for Mitt Romney.

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Flashback: In a 1998 episode of VH1's Behind The Music, Ted Nugent's 'addicition' to underaged girls is exposed along with the story of how he got custody of his 17-year-old bride...

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