Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Slimy as a Newt

Newt Gingrich has emerged as the clear frontrunner in both Iowa and South Carolina. Yuck. The last thing anyone wants to see is the backside of Newt Gingrich. Surveys show Newt ahead of Mitt Romney on empathy! Newt Gingrich would score lower on the empathy scale than most species of snake. Mitt Romney does seem to be incapable of normal human emotion. On the other hand, Newt seems to be perfectly capable of many basic human emotions—like hatred, anger, greed, and petty vindictiveness.

Newt has been described as “erratic, undisciplined, and grandiose.” Just the attributes you want in a leader... if you’re looking for someone to lead Imperial Rome in the first century. The only difference between Newt Gingrich and Caligula is that Malcolm McDowell could play Caligula without wearing a fat suit. Newt’s basic problem isn’t so much that he speaks before he thinks—it’s that he speaks after he thinks—most people who think the kind of crap that Newt Gingrich thinks know enough to keep quiet about it.

Nancy Pelosi supposedly has some inside dirt on Newt Gingrich. That’s hardly necessary, when there’s so much outside dirt on Newt Gingrich. Pelosi spent a year on a committee investigating Newt for ethics violations. If there were such a thing as an ethics breathalyzer, Nancy Pelosi has seen Newt’s results. And I’m sure he was way over the legal limit. Pelosi said “I served on the investigative committee that investigated him, four of us locked in a room in an undisclosed location for a year.” Ugh! The last thing I would want to do is spend time in a confined space with Newt’s dirty laundry!

Actually, the information Pelosi was referring to is already public. You can find the ethics committee report on Newt online. A word of warning—check out the length of the ethics committee report before you hit the “print” button. You could easily go through several printer cartridges. The Gingrich Ethics Report comprises 11 extensive sections and an appendix. They really should have a Cliffs Notes version for people who just want to get a basic idea of what Newt Gingrich did wrong.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Chris Matthews goes Shakespearean over Newt, Trump and the rest of the GOP clown show...

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