Friday, December 2, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Jobs or Perfumed Pigs

It's Friday, ya bastids!

The unemployment numbers for November are out, and they look good... unless you’re looking at them through Mitt Romney-colored glasses. The unemployment rate fell to 8.6 percent, the lowest rate in two-and-a-half years. That’s good news... and bad news. Don’t worry, it’s all good news for you. It’s only bad news if you’re a Republican candidate for president.

Mitt Romney used those unemployment figures to attack President Obama. Mitt, before you use something to attack with, take a look and make sure it makes an effective weapon. It’s a little hard to go after Obama for the crappy jobs numbers when the jobs numbers are good. You might as well attack Obama for getting rid of Moammar Gadhafi. Oh wait, they tried that too. Mitt said Obama will “have a hard time putting perfume on this pig.” That’s not a pig, you idiot. It’s more like Obama is bringing home the bacon. In 2008, the economy was crumbling, and John McCain kept saying “the fundamentals of the economy are strong.” Now the fundamentals of the economy are actually getting better, and Mitt Romney keeps saying that things are crumbling. The Republican candidates are always a lap behind.

Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich is doubling down on his plan to use poor children as janitors. Give Newt this much—when he comes up with a ridiculous idea, he sticks with it. Of course, Newt flip-flops, but he only changes his mind when he was previously for a good idea, like cap and trade, tackling climate change, or the individual health insurance mandate. Now Newt wants kids just to “mop the floor and clean the bathroom.” I think Newt believes that the objection to children being forced to work as janitors is that some people didn’t want them doing complicated tasks like calibrating a furnace. This is Newt’s way of saying “Don’t worry, we won’t have these kids doing anything that requires training. They’ll just be scrubbing toilets.”

Ron Paul has released what is being described as a “brutal” ad going after Newt Gingrich. The thing about going after Newt, though, is that if you just tell the truth, it’s going to be brutal. They say the truth hurts. And it doesn’t hurt anyone quite as much as it hurts Newt Gingrich.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Further evidence that the Republican presidential race is more of a silly reality show than a campaign to help decide the leader of the free world: Donald Trump is moderating the Dec. 27 GOP debate...

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