Randi Rhodes: Cain Unable

Democrats in Congress say they will break President Obama’s jobs bill into separate components and bring each one up for a vote. You can’t stop Republicans from saying “no,” but at least you can make them say “no” repeatedly.

Have you seen the video of Herman Cain singing about pizza to the tune of “Imagine” by John Lennon? Very weird. The interesting thing is that Herman Cain actually sings quite well. So in this video, Cain manages to hit all of the right notes, and all of the wrong notes, simultaneously.

Newly-minted front-runner Cain definitely was off-key this weekend on Meet the Press. It was more like “Meet the Pressure.” The next couple of weeks will be a big test for Herman Cain. But it’s hard to pass the math section of any test when the only number you know is 9. Cain still thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room. You can see how he could get that idea, spending so much time in rooms with the rest of the Republican presidential candidates.

There was an uncomfortable moment on Meet the Press when Herman Cain had to admit he didn’t know what “neoconservative” meant. I’m used to Republicans pretending that they never heard of the neoconservative movement. But I get the feeling Herman isn’t pretending. Let me help you out, Herman—the neoconservatives had a very simplistic view of the world that turned out to be a total disaster when applied to reality. It’s kind of like the foreign policy version of your 9-9-9 plan. Herman, if you want to figure out what neoconservative means, just break it down. You know what conservative means, and “Neo” is the character Keanu Reeves played in The Matrix. So neoconservatives believe we’re all hooked up to a web of virtual reality and we need to find Laurence Fishburne to explain it to us.

Glenn Beck says the Wall Street protests will lead to “gas chambers,” and “guillotines,” and “millions dead.” Hopefully, what the protests will really lead to is better financial regulation—but in Glenn Beck’s world, that’s the same thing as “millions dead.”

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