Randi Rhodes: Herb's Smokin'

It's Friday, ya bastids!

Herman Cain is hot! Suddenly everybody knows his name! Well, everybody except Sarah Palin, who thinks his name is Herb Cain. During the last debate, other candidates mentioned Cain as a possible running mate. Good idea, if you’re looking for the black Republican vote. And I do mean “vote,” as in singular. Cain thinks he can attract a third to a half of the black vote. Gee, Herman, it’s almost too bad that your Republican Party has spent the past few years trying to disenfranchise as many African-American voters as possible.

Michele Bachmann is again saying how she is submissive to the will of her husband. These statements don’t help her—I wish Marcus would stop making her say them. Michele tells how she had to defer her dream of going to law school when God called Marcus to the ministry and called her to law school at the same time. Gee, you’d think God would be better at avoiding scheduling conflicts. Michele says “I knew that I needed to defer what I wanted in deference to my husband. That was a good decision that I made.” Sorry, Michele, but the only decision you made was to let somebody else decide. You went along with the will of God… as it was manifested in the will of the closeted gay man you are married to.

Democratic lawmakers are calling for an investigation into Clarence Thomas’s failure to report hundreds of thousands of dollars on annual financial disclosure forms. You’ve come a long way from pubic hairs on cans of Coke, Clarence. Is he going to play dumb on this one? If anyone can do that convincingly, it would be him. One thing isn’t quite clear to me—does Clarence Thomas think he is above the law, or beyond the law, or does he think that he IS the law.

And Bank of America has a new $5 monthly fee for people who use debit cards. BofA is going to hit Americans with these fees after we provided the money to bail them out. I say we tell the “Bank of America” that they are no longer welcome to use our name. You know, if we knew they were going to do this to us, we would have charged them a $5 fee on the billions we gave to them.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Flashback 2005: The late George Carlin, as only he can, nails the root cause of our economic and political woes (NSFW - language)...