Saturday, April 16, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Something to Cry About



If you’re rushing to get your taxes done at the very last minute today, good news—the deadline for tax returns this year is Monday, April 18. I know what you’re thinking—they must have pushed it back because this week is Passover, and approximately 12 out of every 10 tax preparers are Jewish. Actually, the deadline was pushed back to Monday because Emancipation Day, a holiday observed in the District of Columbia, falls. So all you anti-tax nuts out there can thank African-Americans for the tax day reprieve. By law, District of Columbia holidays impact tax deadlines in the same way that federal holidays do. That’s not true for holidays in the other states, or you know that states like Alabama would create some sort of “Confederate Week” in mid-April just to knock back the tax filing day.

Since tax day still looms on Monday, here are a bunch of John Boehner drinking jokes to get you in the mood for the weekend: John Boehner can’t control his caucus! Gee, when you put it that way, it sounds kind of dirty. Usually when you hear about a Republican whose “caucus” is out of control, you think about David Vitter or John Ensign. But then Boehner’s reputation is more as a drinker. When you hear “John Boehner can’t control his caucus,” it sounds like he’s having bladder control problems. One headline read “Boehner Struggles With His Caucus.” Yeah. You don’t want to be using the urinal next to him, that’s for sure. What it really means is that the Republicans in the House of Representatives are revolting. I know, you’re thinking “everybody already knows that.” I mean the Republicans in the House of Representatives are revolting against John Boehner. 59 Republicans voted against the budget deal that Boehner struck. He had hoped to keep the number of defections under 30. Boy, I bet John Boehner’s face is red… underneath all that orange, that is. 27 of the freshmen Republicans decided to buck the House leadership. And John Boehner is the one who got bucked the hardest.

Bottom line: John Boehner is no better at controlling the House Republican caucus than James Inhofe is at controlling an airplane.

And Sarah Palin is set to headline a Tea Party rally in Wisconsin this weekend. Of course, if there’s something stupid and wrong going on anywhere in America, Sarah Palin is going to want to be there. Sarah Palin is like the anti-Tom Joad. “Wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there… fighting the hungry people. Wherever there’s a cop beating up a guy, I’ll be there… cheering the cop on.”

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Rep. Joe Crowley (D-NY) tells it like it is without saying a word…


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