Randi Rhodes: Gas Pains

It's Friday, ya bastids!

In a speech yesterday, President Obama confronted the problem of rising gasoline prices. Well, most Americans consider rising gas prices to be a problem. Republicans consider them to be a godsend.

Gas prices are up 29 cents a gallon since December. Every penny increases the chance that a Republican can win in November. But with this batch of Republicans, you might need 10-dollar per gallon gas to win. The price of gas is being affected by greedy speculators, who have a lot to gain from manipulating the price... and even more to gain if they can prevent President Obama from winning a second term.

Obama said that Republicans are “dusting off their three-point plans for $2 gas.” That would a gas price from the 1970’s. Ironically, Republicans can set us back by several decades... in everything except gas prices. Newt Gingrich is claiming he has a plan to guarantee gas prices of $2.50 per gallon. Newt, if you’re that good at moving numbers around, how come you can’t get your polling numbers into double digits?

Rick Santorum says that a college or university education is “secular indoctrination.” Rick has a BA in political science, an MBA, and a law degree. That makes him one of the most indoctrinated people in America. Rick, why do you think that kids can be “indoctrinated” by college? You managed to get several college degrees without it seeming to affect you in any way whatsoever. Somehow, Rick managed to sit through all those university courses without letting it affect his mind. It’s almost like he was attending college as a spy for the ignorant people. It’s “Rick Santorum: Undercover Scholar”! I wonder if undercover Rick ever came close to getting caught in college in the 70’s—“Rick, is that a crucifix under your sweater vest?” “No! It’s a coke spoon on a chain, honest! I gotta go!”

Unlike Rick, I have no hatred for American colleges. I do have one problem with them, however—how can they possibly let someone like Rick Santorum graduate?

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Mittens should really just keep his yap shut - earlier today he professed his love for Michigan by doubling down on right-sized trees and the 'couple of Cadillacs' his wife drives...

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