Randi Rhodes: Good Day for America, Bad Day for GOP

It's Friday, ya bastids!

The jobs numbers for July were a welcome slice of positive news. Last month, nonfarm payrolls jumped by 117,000 (+154K private sector / -37K gov’t). The numbers help dampen fears of a double-dip recession. Or if you’re a Republican, the numbers dampen hopes of a double-dip recession. The Republican agenda is not about job creation, it’s about job elimination—specifically, they want to eliminate President Obama’s job. Thanks to Republicans, extended unemployment benefits will soon run out, so a lot of people who are currently classified as jobless will be reclassified as hopeless. Bottom line, the Republicans aren’t targeting joblessness, they’re targeting the jobless. The only thing the Republicans have done to reduce the number of people on unemployment is to reduce the number of people who are eligible to receive unemployment.

The Republican approach to unemployment comes down to three words—John Boehner’s “so be it.” “So be it!” That phrase has a nice “Egyptian pharaoh” ring to it, which is appropriate, because John Boehner’s face looks mummified. Really, wouldn’t you like to see them do one of those scientific reconstructions on John Boehner’s face, so they could show you what he looked like when he was alive?

Conservatives are big on the homeschooling. The irony is that the most ignorant and uninformed parents are the ones most likely to insist on homeschooling their children. It’s not that these homeschooled conservative kids don’t know anything; it’s that everything they know is wrong. What happens when these kids have to deal with the real world? They have to develop the ability to totally shut out the real world, while appearing to be part of it. If you wonder how that’s done, watch Michele Bachmann try and answer a question some time. Or should I say, watch her try and NOT answer a question.

Can you imagine being homeschooled by someone like Michele Bachmann? They’re just preparing a generation of uninformed, ignorant, paranoid freaks—people who don’t have the skills to do anything except run for Congress as a Tea Party candidate.

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