Randi Rhodes: Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest

Here are the latest stumbles from your three Republican frontrunners:

Rick Perry is not disavowing the threat he made against Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, in which he said “we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas.” Of course, it’s a little hard to back pedal from after making a threat. What are you going to say? I “mis-threatened”? When asked about the comments, Perry’s campaign said “The Governor was expressing his frustration with the current economic situation and the out of control spending that persists in Washington.” Maybe we need a leader who doesn’t express his frustration in such a juvenile way. I would say that this raises big questions about Rick Perry’s fitness to be President, but those big questions were all raised the second he announced. This merely reinforces them.

Don’t be cruel, Michele. Yesterday Michele Bachmann gave a big birthday shout out to Elvis Presley… on the anniversary of his death. At a rally yesterday Michele announced “Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis Presley today.” It’s not so much that she got the wrong date, it’s that part of me suspects that she’s not aware that Elvis died. OK, it’s a simple mistake. But it’s like the 500th mistake in a row. Does Michele Bachmann ever get anything right? Somebody check to see if her name is actually Michele Bachmann. At the very least, I assume she’s been misspelling it all these years. Michele has been playing Elvis’s version of “Promised Land” at her rallies. Elvis released that song in 1975. Leave it to Michele Bachmann to pick a song by the old, fat Elvis. Really Michele, couldn’t you have chosen a more appropriate Elvis song for your rallies, like “Hard Headed Woman,” or “Devil in Disguise”?

Finally, fresh off his “Corporations are people” quote, now Mitt Romney says it’s no use raising taxes on the rich, because rich people are smarter than you. Really. You know, for a really rich guy, Mitt Romney sure says some stupid things. Romney put it this way: “The problem with rich people is that many of them are smart.” Yes. So let’s tax the middle class, because they are too dumb to figure a way around it! I have news for Mitt: the rich aren’t successful at avoiding taxes because they’re smart. They’re successful at avoiding taxes because they’re rich.

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FLASHBACK 2010: Watch Rick Perry do his George W. Bush impression while dancing around Texas's failed abstinence education policy...