Randi Rhodes: The Seven Dwarves

Last night there was a debate of the Republican presidential contenders. It was a big debate. The problem is that there are no big Republican candidates. And sorry, all you fans of midget wrestling, but the Seven Dwarves were pretty nice to each other. The candidates wanted to appeal to the GOP base and still look electable, which is kind of like trying to get a triple “X” rating and still appeal to families.

Michele Bachmann used the occasion to announce that she was in fact running for president. The fact that she was participating in a presidential debate was a pretty big tip off, though. It’s still not Bachmann’s “official” announcement, which will take place later in Waterloo, Iowa. One way or the other, that will be her Waterloo. It’s a little ominous to launch a campaign in a place named Waterloo, but then Michele Bachmann is probably unaware that there is a Waterloo other than Waterloo, Iowa.

The irony is that the Fox News viewers that these candidates really want to reach probably didn’t even know this was going on. Since the debate was on CNN, Fox News put up an embargo on any information concerning it. The only people watching were people who think the Republican candidate field is a bizarre spectacle and who were tuning in to watch the freak show. They should have had a bearded lady and a fat man. But then Chris Christie says he isn’t running.

Pawlenty and Romney didn’t go at each other, which was kind of a relief. Two guys that stiff and awkward fighting would look like a couple of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots. The day before, Tim Pawlenty had coined the term “Obomneycare” to cudgel Mitt Romney with. But when asked about his attack while Romney was on the stage with him, Pawlenty acted like… well, like a Pawlenty, as in “Don’t act like such a Pawlenty.”

Bottom line: I don’t want to say this was a group of crazies, but it kind of reminded me of the group in the “watching the World Series” scene in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I was waiting for Jack Nicholson to start doing the play by play.

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