Randi Rhodes: He's Just Like You

It’s Friday, ya bastids!

Have you heard the one about the clueless millionaire? Mitt Romney “joked” to a group of unemployed people that he was “unemployed” too (video below). Any more jokes like this one, and he is likely to remain that way. Romney said “I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” Oh, do tell your story, Mitt. I bet it’s a real tale of riches-to-riches. In terms of gaffes, it was a perfect storm—Mitt Romney’s lack of empathy with human beings meets Mitt Romney’s lack of a sense of humor. Romney is worse at being a comedian than he is at being a candidate, and that’s not an easy mark to beat. Romney trying to make jokes is almost as pathetic as Michele Bachmann trying to make sense. Mitt should do like Michele and just quit even trying. He is the worst person in the world at trying to be funny. I thought George Bush was bad at it. Mitt makes George Bush sound like George Carlin.

The disruption at the Weiner press conference was from someone from Howard Stern’s show. Howard Stern has millions of dollars. Can’t he hire someone who would at least yell something funny? Really, there are points to be made. Heck, there are jokes to be made. But this moron did neither. The guy’s name is Benjy Bronk. He’s like some sort of suicide bomber with a whole lot of not-funny strapped to his chest. The Howard Stern radio show is in danger of becoming to scandals what Fred Phelps’s Westboro Baptist Church is to military funerals. Come on, we know what the function of a shock jock is. There is nothing wrong with being irreverent. But these outbursts weren’t irreverent, they were just irrelevant.

What a world. Anthony Weiner is gone, and David Vitter remains. I would accuse the Republicans of having situational morals, but that implies that they have morals in the first place. At least David Vitter will always be know as “the prostitute guy.” And that’s if he’s lucky. To a lot of people, he’s the “diaper guy.” David Vitter has about as much chance of being thought of for his work in the Congress as OJ Simpson does of being remembered for his exploits on the football field. Here’s one last observation, and one last “Weiner” double entendre—when you compare what David Vitter did to what Anthony Weiner did, shouldn’t Weiner be the one who is hanging in there?

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