Randi Rhodes: Flake Is What Flake Does

Michele Bachmann’s campaign launch day included a major embarrassing gaffe. But then it wouldn’t really have been Michele Bachmann’s launch without one, would it? In fact, the odds of Michele Bachmann’s announcement day having a major gaffe were about the same as the odds of Michele Bachmann’s announcement day having an announcement. Bachmann paid homage to Waterloo, Iowa’s other famous resident, John Wayne. Unfortunately for Michele, movie star John Wayne is not from Waterloo. Mass murderer John Wayne Gacy is. I don’t think they’ve put up a plaque, though. Michele said “I want them to know just like John Wayne is from Waterloo, Iowa, that’s the spirit I have too.” Michele is actually closer to the spirit of John Wayne Gacy. Relax! I don’t mean because Gacy was a killer. I mean because Gacy was a clown.

Then today on Good Morning America, Bachmann was given an opportunity to clarify her remarks that our Founding Fathers “worked tirelessly to end slavery.” As you would expect with Bachmann, the explanation was more confused than the original confusion. As an example of a “Founding Father” who worked to end slavery, Bachmann mentioned John Quincy Adams. John Quincy Adams was 9 years old when the Declaration of Independence was signed. He wasn’t a “Founding Father.” At best, he was a “Founding Pre-Adolescent.” John Quincy Adams was the son of a Founding Father, but he wasn’t a Founding Father any more than John Wayne Gacy won a Best Actor Oscar for True Grit.

Pat Robertson says that New York’s legalization of gay marriage is going to lead to God’s destruction of America. Maybe, Pat, but not before the wedding planners, photographers, and wedding cake bakers of New York make a mint. Reverend Pat invoked the specter of the city of Sodom, which he claims that God destroyed over the sin of homosexuality. In Pat Robertson’s vision of the Biblical world, God spends most of his time punishing people for homosexual behavior. No wonder there was so much murder and pillaging in the ancient world. God was too obsessed with the gays to take care of anything else. Pat said “In history there’s never been a civilization, ever in history, that has embraced homosexuality and has survived.” The conservative view of history is just a series of great empires that rose, suddenly became enraptured with show tunes and glitter, and then collapsed.

Today’s Homework | Discuss

Hour Two Guest: Sen. Bernie Sanders joins Randi live today – sign his petition here. Here’s a small taste of his epic floor speech yesterday…