 Newt Gingrich really stands out among the rightwingers for his hypocrisy on Libya. Do you know how hard that is to do? That’s like standing out as “the sleazy one” on one of the “Real Housewives” shows. Two weeks ago, Gingrich was demanding that Obama should “Exercise a no-fly zone this evening.” Yesterday he claimed “I would not have intervened.” Yeesh, Newt, if you turn around any harder and faster, you’re going to rupture a disc. Newt Gingrich has flip-flopped so hard on Libya that it would make John McCain’s head spin!Meanwhile, John Boehner is being just as two-faced as Newt Gingrich. The only difference is that both of John Boehner’s faces are orange. Boehner sent a letter to President Obama complaining about how Obama was handling the situation in Libya. You’ve heard of drunk dialing? Drunk texting? I hope John Boehner wasn’t drunk mailing. Boehner’s letter criticized the President for what Boehner said was the lack of a clearly defined mission in Libya. Wait, I thought that John Boehner’s mission for this Congress was “jobs, jobs, jobs.” What’s worse—lacking a clearly defined mission, or having a clearly defined mission, and clearly ignoring it? It seems Muammar Gadhafi has a special all-female bodyguard corps of 40 gun-toting, lipstick wearing, bejeweled trained killers (pictured below). Hmmm… sounds like somebody has been watching too many Russ Meyer movies. I think Colonel Gadhafi needs to keep his sexual fantasies and his security needs separate. The women wear heavy makeup and jewelry with their military uniforms. They’re the only military force in the world with combat medals made by Tiffany. The bodyguards are graduates of an elite military academy in Tripoli for women. Anyone who thinks that women need to be trained to kill never saw JWow and Sammi go at it on “The Jersey Shore.” In 1998, a bodyguard named Aisha threw herself on top of Gadhafi when Islamic militants ambushed his motorcade. She was killed in a barrage of bullets. Well girls, after hearing that, I’m sure you don’t feel quite as foolish about doing something like getting a perm for a guy who didn’t really appreciate it. That poor bodyguard never even had the chance to have her girlfriends take her out and spend the evening telling her “Aisha, he’s not worth it.” Today’s Homework | Discuss A line of Gadhafi’s bodyguards, often referred to as his “Amazons”. See more  | |
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