In Alaska, the number of write-in ballots counted for Lisa Murkowski is now some 1,700 ahead of Joe Miller’s vote totals. Joe, the handwriting is on the wall… unless you plan to challenge that handwriting too. Show a little dignity, Joe. Don’t bring this thing to the courts. Or as we say, “don’t go all Florida on our ass.”In a recent interview, Lisa Murkowski said that Sarah Palin lacks the “leadership qualities” and “intellectual curiosity” to be president of the United States. Hello? Have you seen Sarah Palin’s TV show? She lacks the intellectual curiosity to be a reality show host. And why is it always news when somebody says that Sarah Palin doesn’t have what it takes to become president? It’s like pointing out that Angela Lansbury doesn’t have what it takes to become the heavyweight boxing champion.
On Fox & Friends George Bush told a story about his father that had him repeating the question “Are my testicles black?” several times. At first you’re a little taken aback. Then you realize it makes as much sense as anything they repeat on Fox News. To flesh out the story, evidently one time in the hospital, as a joke, the elder George Bush asked a nurse “are my testicles black?” several times until she started to check, and he changed it to “are my test results back?” Well, as jokes go, I guess it’s funnier than the old “fetus in a jar” gag that Momma Bush used to pull all the time.
If you’re travelling next week, be aware of the new airport security full-body scanners. If you refuse the scan, a pat-down search is mandatory. They’ve got you by the… well, let’s just say they’ve got you. The people you really have to feel sorry for are the TSA employees who have to do the pat-downs. There’s nothing worse than rubbing someone’s genitalia, and then getting negative feedback. I wouldn’t even want to be the TSA employee who has to look at the full-body scans all day. Though I imagine that looking at full body scans of average Americans would be a pretty good incentive to stay in shape. “Look at this guy. Note to self—go to the gym tomorrow!” I certainly wouldn’t want to be the person looking at the full-body scans when George Bush Senior goes through the scanner. “Hey TSA guy, are my testicles black? Well, are they?” “Heard it already, sir. Please move along…”
PBS edited out some of Tina Fey’s best lines on Sunday when they aired the Mark Twain Awards. See her full acceptance speech here.
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