Randi Rhodes; The Cain Scrutiny

Memo to Herman Cain: there’s one big problem with being in the lead—your backside is exposed. Herman spent most of the past couple of days answering questions about the allegations of sexual harassment, without answering them… which is a delicate balancing act. And balance is not Herman’s strong suit. I’ll say this—Cain had no problem coming up with answers. In fact he had several different answers, depending on which interview you listened to. It’s actually harder the way you do it, Herman. Pick one lie and stick to it.

The charges against Cain could cause serious doubts among moderate GOP voters. Luckily for Herman Cain, there is no such thing. The rightwing is rallying to his defense. Meanwhile, the left wing is just silently praying that Cain will still be able to win the nomination. It seems like everyone is on Herman’s side! Rightwingers called this “another high-tech lynching.” Well, then this should be impressive. Technology has really moved forward in the years since the confirmation of Clarence Thomas. This could be the first “high tech lynching” in 4G!

The worst thing about the sexual harassment scandal for Herman Cain’s campaign is that it’s far from being the worst thing about Herman Cain’s campaign. Case in point—everything else that Herman Cain says. Herman Cain compared formulating US foreign policy to making pizza. The only thing pizza-making has in common with conducting foreign policy is that I seriously doubt Herman Cain has the ability to do either. Herman Cain can’t even say the correct name for countries like Uz-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan. I hope he does better with ingredients like mozza-mozza-mozza-rella-realla.

Of course, Rush Limbaugh has weighed in with his opinion on the Cain controversy, and guess what—it was all about race! Rush said “This is about blacks and Hispanics getting uppity.” He meant getting uppity in the eyes of the Democrats, but I think Rush just enjoys saying the phrase “blacks and Hispanics getting uppity.” For once, Rush can say that phrase out loud on the radio, instead of just yelling it into his pillow all night.

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