Thursday, June 14, 2012

Randi Rhodes: Showdown

President Obama and Mitt Romney are both delivering major speeches about the economy in Ohio today. Get used to it, Ohio—you’re the new Wisconsin. Ohio residents might want to form support groups with people from Wisconsin about how to survive a full-on political advertising blitz. Many swing voters are just now making up their mind. President Obama needs to let them know what he intends to do. More importantly, he needs to let them know what Mitt Romney plans to do. Obama needs to educate the American public about who Mitt Romney is—because if Mitt Romney gets elected, there’s not going to be any more education of any kind.

Sheldon Adelson is throwing in $10 million to get Mitt Romney elected, though hopefully “throwing out” $10 million will end up being the more accurate phrase. Sheldon, the guy worth $25 billion, is giving $10 million to Mitt, who is worth $250 million. That’s the only thing the superrich do with their money—they pass it back and forth between each other. What kind of idiot gives $10 million to a guy who already has $250 million of his own? To Sheldon, a guy with only a quarter billion must look like a charity case. I guess Sheldon is just giving money to the less incredibly fortunate.

Yesterday JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon appeared before the Senate Banking Committee. To listen to the Republicans on the Committee, Dimon appeared riding on a sunbeam as the clouds parted and a choir of angels sang. The Republicans on the committee didn’t exactly give Dimon a dressing down. What they gave him was more of a sucking up. Under Dimon, JPMorgan just lost over $2 billion in a high risk hedge. But the only questions that Republicans wanted to ask him were things like “Are you OK?” and “Is there anything we can do to help you?”

It was quite the love fest from the Republicans on the Banking Committee. If this had been conducted over the telephone, Jamie Dimon should have been billing them $5.99 per minute. Senator Bob Corker cooed to Jamie, “You’re obviously renowned, rightfully so I think, for being one of the best CEO’s in the country.” I’m just glad that Corker was sitting behind the dais, because I’m pretty sure he was aroused. Corker was acting like a groupie who got backstage at a Led Zeppelin tour in the 70’s. Somebody grab the mud shark!

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Flashback: Yesterday's banker lovefest was very reminiscent of Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) apologizing to British Petroleum...

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