Today President Obama turns his attention to immigration reform. If he handles it like he did the “find bin Laden” thing, our immigration problems should be solved by Thursday or Friday. There is no clear right and wrong on immigration. You can see that in the fact that conservatives are split on the issue, and they manage to hold both opinions for all of the wrong reasons. The big business wing wants as much cheap labor in America as possible, and the Tea Party nutjobs want to demand papers from anyone who doesn’t have freckles. The bottom line is that we can’t have these dangerous people down there around our southern border causing all sorts of problems. But enough about Arizona Republicans.
In a move seemingly designed to prevent people from wanting to come to America at all, Newt Gingrich is officially running for president. Ultimately, that announcement has as much significance as the announcement that Jamaica will be entering another bobsled team in the Olympics. In fact, the candidacy of Newt Gingrich is a lot like the Jamaican bobsled team—they have no chance of winning, the fact that they’re even in the race is a joke to most people, and they’re going to go straight downhill.
Insiders say Newt Gingrich may be trying to use Mrs. Gingrich as a secret political weapon. But it doesn’t help matters that most people’s first reaction is to ask “Which Mrs. Gingrich?” Newt is going to try and pawn himself off as a born-again family man, making a big deal that he’s been with this particular wife for 11 years. To put Newt’s 11-year marriage marathon in perspective, it’s a little over half the length of time that Barack Obama (who is 18 years younger than Newt) has been married to Michelle. Yup, Newt and Callista have been together for 11 years. And that’s not even counting the time they were together while Newt was still with his previous wife.
Visitors to Newt’s 2012 website can read “A Note from Newt & Callista.” Newt & Callista”? It sounds like a chapter title from one of the Harry Potter books. Is that part of a recipe for a magic spell? Maybe some kind of potion to make voters forget your past. By the way, Mrs. Gingrich is writing a children’s book. What’s the title—“Johnny Has a Series of Mommies”?
Today’s Homework | Discuss
In a move seemingly designed to prevent people from wanting to come to America at all, Newt Gingrich is officially running for president. Ultimately, that announcement has as much significance as the announcement that Jamaica will be entering another bobsled team in the Olympics. In fact, the candidacy of Newt Gingrich is a lot like the Jamaican bobsled team—they have no chance of winning, the fact that they’re even in the race is a joke to most people, and they’re going to go straight downhill.
Insiders say Newt Gingrich may be trying to use Mrs. Gingrich as a secret political weapon. But it doesn’t help matters that most people’s first reaction is to ask “Which Mrs. Gingrich?” Newt is going to try and pawn himself off as a born-again family man, making a big deal that he’s been with this particular wife for 11 years. To put Newt’s 11-year marriage marathon in perspective, it’s a little over half the length of time that Barack Obama (who is 18 years younger than Newt) has been married to Michelle. Yup, Newt and Callista have been together for 11 years. And that’s not even counting the time they were together while Newt was still with his previous wife.
Visitors to Newt’s 2012 website can read “A Note from Newt & Callista.” Newt & Callista”? It sounds like a chapter title from one of the Harry Potter books. Is that part of a recipe for a magic spell? Maybe some kind of potion to make voters forget your past. By the way, Mrs. Gingrich is writing a children’s book. What’s the title—“Johnny Has a Series of Mommies”?
Today’s Homework | Discuss
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