It's (your last) Friday, ya bastids!Tomorrow is the end of the world. Of course, I don’t really believe that. On the other hand, I’m having a little trouble working really hard on today’s blog. But I can’t seem to get totally into the “end of the world” mindset. Yesterday I bought milk, and yes, I looked at the expiration date. Theoretically, things like that don’t even matter any more. Earth itself has less time than any container of milk on the shelves.
The guy who started this whole “the world is ending” thing, Harold Camping, is 89 years old. Of course. That way even if he’s wrong, he won’t have to live it down for very long. Camping’s ministry has a $72 million in assets, and his headquarters is a cheap little building in Oakland, California. My first question would be, what is this guy saving his money for? Harold Camping previously prophesied the end of the world for September 1994. For those of you who don’t remember, the world did not end in September of 1994. Now Harold says his calculations for the 1994 apocalypse were flawed. He reviewed his numbers and came up with tomorrow’s date. Call me a stickler, but I think you should only get one shot at predicting the end of the world. Why would anybody listen to an end-of-times prophet who already got the time wrong once? That’s as stupid as buying hair restorer from a bald barber.
Meanwhile, some of the employees of the doomsday church say they’re planning to come into work on Monday. Wow. These employees definitely do not read the inter-office emails. At least check out the bulletin board in the break room, guys. Really, how are you supposed to deal with the situation at work on Friday when the world is ending on Saturday? Do you tell people to clear their uneaten food out the fridge? If Jesus is coming back, I don’t want him to be grossed out by moldy kung pao chicken.
If the end doesn’t come, one of the people working for Camping’s ministry said “We’re going to continue doing what we’re doing.” Uh, haven’t you been telling everyone that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011? That message is going to sound a lot less urgent on May 22, 2011. It’s hard enough to convince people that the world is going to end tomorrow. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to convince people that the world is going to end yesterday.
Today’s Homework | Discuss
Big Daddy Rapture himself, Harold Camping, calmly explains how he knows that Jesus is coming to kill you…
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