Friday, July 29, 2011

Randi Rhodes: Late Night Tea Fit

It’s Friday, ya bastids!

DEVELOPING: As of 2pm ET, the House is back in session and a vote on the newly revised Boehner plan could tonight. WATCH IT LIVE

Uh oh. Republicans may be having problems maintaining their Boehner. House Speaker John Boehner’s debt-ceiling bill is in danger of collapsing faster than the United States’ credit-worthiness. Boehner couldn’t line up the votes to pass his bill last night, and had to withdraw it at the last minute. And I don’t need to tell you, when a Boehner pulls out at the last second, things get messy.

When the vote on Boehner’s bill was delayed last night, he had the House turn to mundane business like renaming post offices. Really. I’m just surprised that the Tea Party nuts didn’t refuse to do that too. “This country doesn’t have enough money to be repainting the signs on these post offices to name them after war heroes and such. Why is the federal government even in the business of delivering mail? This Benjamin Franklin guy was some kind of socialist!”

Late into the night, wavering members of the Republican caucus were being brought into Boehner’s office for a face-to-face discussion about their vote. I don’t envy anyone who has to get close to John Boehner’s face late at night. “Can I offer you a breath mint, Mr. Speaker?” Boehner seems to be keeping a stiff upper lip throughout this ordeal. Odd, the only time he doesn’t cry is the one time he really has something to cry about. Boehner has been through tough times before, though. And you know how it is with drunks—they never seem to get injured when they fall. It’s quite possible John Boehner could come out of this smelling like a rose. But it’s more likely he’ll come out of this smelling like a rosé.

Finally, Michele Bachmann is trying to dodge any questions about her husband’s “pray the gay away” therapy (video below). Michele said “My husband is not running for the presidency.” Nope. If my guess is correct, he really wants to be First Lady. Michele ducked the question and just alluded to celebrating her and her husband’s 33rd wedding anniversary. I guess that’s an answer of sorts—maybe Marcus Bachmann’s “gay conversion therapy” can’t turn gay people straight, but it can keep up appearances for at least 33 years. Well, it can keep up appearances, if you don’t look or listen too closely.

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